It’s somewhat funny to consider ABC’s ‘Dancing with the Stars’, as it exists as a rather interesting conundrum. When one looks at its cast, it becomes clear that there’s little above C-List celebrities on it. This might seem counter-intuitive to some, and yet it is entirely necessary for the show to succeed. I have to wonder what goes on behind the scenes within the selection process. They need to find the right balance of celebrities, personalities and dance ability in order to provide an interesting series for audiences…without making them too interesting. Let’s take a look at who we have in this season’s list.
The Athletes: Laila Ali (Boxer), Clyde Drexler (Basketball Player), Apolo Anton Ohno (Speed Skating).
Can the rough and tumble daughter of Muhammad Ali embrace the glamour and style of ballroom? Can Clyde Drexler overcome his height and lumbering nature to become graceful and light? Is Apolo Anton Ohno’s grace on skates (Except when he fell in 2002 and got DQ’d in 2006 (If I remember correctly)) enough to translate onto the dance floor? Athletes are always a bit of a gamble for the show, but this group seems innocent enough.
The past two seasons, Emmitt Smith (1st Place) and Jerry Rice (2nd Place) rode waves of football fan support to the finals; I don’t think the same will happen here. They appear to have learned their lesson about casting football players, as they ride their way past teams which are perhaps better dancers (Rice over Kiebler, for example).
The Singers: Billy Ray Cyrus and Joey Fatone
They are both also technically actors, but their involvement here is mostly due to their music careers. Billy Ray Cyrus started a line-dancing craze with ‘Achy Breaky Heart’, while Joey was surely skilled on the dance floor with N’Sync. However, both have been less involved in such activities over the years, and it should be interesting to see them readjust to their surroundings.
But, they had to be sure to pick the right singers here, especially with Fatone. He’s just enough of a celebrity within the group (Not quite down to…that other guy who isn’t JT, Chavez or Bass) to make it work, but not too large as to carry an insurmountable fan base.
Actors: John Ratzenburger (Everything Pixar has ever made, ‘Cheers’), Ian Ziering (Beverly Hills 90210)
There always needs to be someone who is expected to do poorly, but their jolly nature is likely to save them. In this case, it’s Ratzenburger, a last minute replacement. He is jovial, personable, and as a result will do much better than his scores will likely represent. While certain people will struggle early, they won’t be as personable as Ratzenburger.
This brings us to Ziering, one of the early favourites. He carries an entire generation of primetime soap fans, he’s athletic, and his partner is a two-time reigning champion with both Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith. He’s a ringer, much as Lachey and others have been. It will be tough to dethrone him, and they might hesitate to cast another 90210/Melrose actor in the future should he dominate too greatly. We already saw a daytime star (Kelly Monaco) dominate, so there’s precedent for his success even years after his prime.
Personalities: Shandi Finnessey (Miss USA 2004), Leeza Gibbins (Former “ET” Anchor), Paulina Porizkova (Model)
I have no idea who Paulina is, have never heard Shandi’s name, and Leeza Gibbons is indeed a ‘former’ Entertainment Tonight Anchor. Gibbons is the usual middle-aged somewhat washed-up celebrity who people will pity somewhat, and the two model/pageant winners are the pretty ones. I seriously doubt any of them will challenge for the title; Kiebler is the only precedent for this, and she had the substantial WWE fanbase behind her.
The Story: Heather Mills (…Seal Lover)
Ah yes, the big buzzworthy selection which blows everyone away with its sheer audacity and tabloid potential. There has long been rumours of trying to get Sarah Ferguson (Dutchess of York) to participate, but this is the closest they’ve come to getting such a tabloid gold mine. And, more importantly, this one is far more relevant to today’s society.
Heather Mills’ very public divorce with Paul McCartney is ideal fodder for the show to take advantage of, and her prosthetic leg is just the icing on the cake when it comes to her appeal to viewers. Whether or not she’s going to be a good dancer is irrelevant; all that matters is that she’s a good story to force viewers to tune in and watch.
On the whole, the cast is varied and has a few contenders to go along with its stars. If we look to past seasons, Ziering certainly has the best chance of breaking out, and I’d say that an athlete performing well is not out of the question. All in all, it’s something to watch on Mondays if you’re a fan of Heroes and not of 24 for as long as the prior is on hiatus. For those like me, who likely won’t have the patience to watch an entire episode, it’s not bad background noise.






