Monthly Archives: March 2007

March 20, 2007 · 10:13 pm

American Idol’s ‘Crying Girl’

Tonight’s episode of American Idol had its usual range of performances. Melinda finished the show off strong, Blake tried to mix things up a little (And honestly, I don’t think he has the range to sing that chorus), and most performers certainly did better than in recent weeks. However, despite it being British Invasion Night, it didn’t seem like that was the theme at all. Because, you see, the real theme was: “Aww, look at the crying girl!”

I don’t believe we got the girl’s name [Ed. – It was apparently Ashley. They didn’t mention it very often.], but Ryan felt like pointing out the amount she was crying during all performances. She’s your usual little cutie-pie, even with the stereotypical pigtails. As her favourite, Sanjaya, took the stage, she couldn’t contain her tears. While the audience struggled to find the melody, the tune or the singing, period, within the song, she seemed content to cry and ogle his…hair? I don’t know what makes him cute, he’s so strange.

After the performance, Sanjaya headed into the crowd to hug her, and she had her little moment in the spotlight. Now, to this point, the show was certainly turning to her for an emotional tug, which is something which I discussed during the audition episodes. However, they weren’t done yet! As a I sat down to write this blog post during Melinda’s performance, they cut to her again! She was balling, of course, and while I know ‘Oliver!’ is kind of sad I don’t think it’s nearly that depressive. By this point, I was convinced that they should seriously consider psychological counselling for this girl. It can’t be healthy. Continue reading →

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March 19, 2007 · 11:58 pm

Flirting With Disaster: The Top Ten ’24’ Romances

This week’s episode of 24, perhaps more than any other this season, contained a great deal of palpable romantic tension. After Chloe decides to kiss Morris in order to check his breath for alcohol, Morris said it best: “Gotta love this place.” The episode was filled with reminders of those romantic tensions: Jack’s revelation regarding Audrey’s apparent death in China, Marilyn’s attempt to get herself some Jack lovin’, Milo’s attraction to Nadia being brought into question, and, of course, Chloe’s snogging of Morris.

24, despite being quite the serious show dealing with international disasters, thrilling action scenes, and large explosions, has always had a certain romantic component to it. While it has never been arrested by these romantic endeavors, overcome by the sheer love of its characters, some of these relationships stand as memorable moments from seasons past and present. There might not be the level of shipping that is seen on other shows, since a lot of these people proceeded to be killed, but there is certainly some affairs to root for.

So, without further adieu, the Top Ten ‘24’ Romances. I’d like to acknowledge that, although not a conscious ripoff, I have to send props over to Erin and Matt over at “BE Something” for their fantastic Top 10 lists and television discussion.

10. Mandy and Everything That Moves

She blew up an airplane to open the show’s very first episode. She attempted to assassinate President Palmer with a crazy hand virus in Season Two. She withheld information from an important investigation into Marwan’s location in Season Four. Mandy has certainly had her fair share of involvement in 24’s more serious plot points.

And yet, she’ll always be the hot lesbian. She’ll always be the one who uses her sexuality to get the job done, and the one whose return illicits sweaty palms across the world. Her romance with every single character she encounters is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the show’s most interesting, and most pervasive. With her presidential pardon in place, she’s capable of returning whenever the producers desire to have her to do so. I can’t wait to see who she seduces next.

9. Chase and Kim

I figure we had to work Kim in here somewhere; although I was much more tempted to include the Cougar or the crazed bomb shelter maniac, her relationship with Chase was one that played a fairly substantial role in Season Three’s storyline. It had a small child involved, some inter-office tension, and the whole issue of dating your father’s partner.

In a season which was all about personal relationships, this one actually managed to make a fair amount more impact than Kim’s other relationships. It never seemed to get in the way of the storyline outside of its normal dramatic intervention, which is what’s best for these type of romances.

8. Jack and Audrey

Most relevant this week, these two certainly faced quite a few difficult situations over the span of two seasons. They were always a little disconnected, but their relationship was threatened when Jack basically killed her ex-husband by forcing doctors to operate on another man instead. That’s kind of a buzzkill, when you think about it.

And yet, their love survived that and so much more. Perhaps more than any other of Jack’s post-season one romances, these two actually seemed to gain traction; this week alone, Jack was suddenly struck with a desire to speak to Audrey, even while Marilyn offered to sex him up. That shows a sense of commitment that we’ll be seeing more of for the future.

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March 19, 2007 · 3:49 pm

Dancing with the Quasi-Stars: Casting Conundrums

It’s somewhat funny to consider ABC’s ‘Dancing with the Stars’, as it exists as a rather interesting conundrum. When one looks at its cast, it becomes clear that there’s little above C-List celebrities on it. This might seem counter-intuitive to some, and yet it is entirely necessary for the show to succeed. I have to wonder what goes on behind the scenes within the selection process. They need to find the right balance of celebrities, personalities and dance ability in order to provide an interesting series for audiences…without making them too interesting. Let’s take a look at who we have in this season’s list.

The Athletes: Laila Ali (Boxer), Clyde Drexler (Basketball Player), Apolo Anton Ohno (Speed Skating).

Can the rough and tumble daughter of Muhammad Ali embrace the glamour and style of ballroom? Can Clyde Drexler overcome his height and lumbering nature to become graceful and light? Is Apolo Anton Ohno’s grace on skates (Except when he fell in 2002 and got DQ’d in 2006 (If I remember correctly)) enough to translate onto the dance floor? Athletes are always a bit of a gamble for the show, but this group seems innocent enough.

The past two seasons, Emmitt Smith (1st Place) and Jerry Rice (2nd Place) rode waves of football fan support to the finals; I don’t think the same will happen here. They appear to have learned their lesson about casting football players, as they ride their way past teams which are perhaps better dancers (Rice over Kiebler, for example).

The Singers: Billy Ray Cyrus and Joey Fatone

They are both also technically actors, but their involvement here is mostly due to their music careers. Billy Ray Cyrus started a line-dancing craze with ‘Achy Breaky Heart’, while Joey was surely skilled on the dance floor with N’Sync. However, both have been less involved in such activities over the years, and it should be interesting to see them readjust to their surroundings.

But, they had to be sure to pick the right singers here, especially with Fatone. He’s just enough of a celebrity within the group (Not quite down to…that other guy who isn’t JT, Chavez or Bass) to make it work, but not too large as to carry an insurmountable fan base.

Actors: John Ratzenburger (Everything Pixar has ever made, ‘Cheers’), Ian Ziering (Beverly Hills 90210)

There always needs to be someone who is expected to do poorly, but their jolly nature is likely to save them. In this case, it’s Ratzenburger, a last minute replacement. He is jovial, personable, and as a result will do much better than his scores will likely represent. While certain people will struggle early, they won’t be as personable as Ratzenburger.

This brings us to Ziering, one of the early favourites. He carries an entire generation of primetime soap fans, he’s athletic, and his partner is a two-time reigning champion with both Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith. He’s a ringer, much as Lachey and others have been. It will be tough to dethrone him, and they might hesitate to cast another 90210/Melrose actor in the future should he dominate too greatly. We already saw a daytime star (Kelly Monaco) dominate, so there’s precedent for his success even years after his prime.

Personalities: Shandi Finnessey (Miss USA 2004), Leeza Gibbins (Former “ET” Anchor), Paulina Porizkova (Model)

I have no idea who Paulina is, have never heard Shandi’s name, and Leeza Gibbons is indeed a ‘former’ Entertainment Tonight Anchor. Gibbons is the usual middle-aged somewhat washed-up celebrity who people will pity somewhat, and the two model/pageant winners are the pretty ones. I seriously doubt any of them will challenge for the title; Kiebler is the only precedent for this, and she had the substantial WWE fanbase behind her.

The Story: Heather Mills (…Seal Lover)

Ah yes, the big buzzworthy selection which blows everyone away with its sheer audacity and tabloid potential. There has long been rumours of trying to get Sarah Ferguson (Dutchess of York) to participate, but this is the closest they’ve come to getting such a tabloid gold mine. And, more importantly, this one is far more relevant to today’s society.

Heather Mills’ very public divorce with Paul McCartney is ideal fodder for the show to take advantage of, and her prosthetic leg is just the icing on the cake when it comes to her appeal to viewers. Whether or not she’s going to be a good dancer is irrelevant; all that matters is that she’s a good story to force viewers to tune in and watch.

On the whole, the cast is varied and has a few contenders to go along with its stars. If we look to past seasons, Ziering certainly has the best chance of breaking out, and I’d say that an athlete performing well is not out of the question. All in all, it’s something to watch on Mondays if you’re a fan of Heroes and not of 24 for as long as the prior is on hiatus. For those like me, who likely won’t have the patience to watch an entire episode, it’s not bad background noise.

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March 18, 2007 · 11:13 pm

TARNalysis Power Rankings: Week Five

While I unfortunately wasn’t quick enough to do this for the first four weeks, here’s a new feature here at Cultural Learnings. While you can catch full race recaps over at McNutt Against the Music, I’ll be doing Power Rankings; based on their position at the beginning of the race (Green), their Detour stats (Both Start/End), their Roadblock Stats (Both Start/End) and then their position at the end of the leg, these stats will also include past performance and general thoughts and notes regarding the team. So, without further adieu, here are this week’s TARNalysis Power Rankings.

1. Danny and Oswald
These two may have ended up 4th, but it was simply a problem of picking the wrong detour option. They struggled with the first task, having trouble working with one another, but bounced back extremely quickly and worked well together for the remainder of the leg. Despite their low finish in this particular episode, I think they’re still in the most powerful position in the race.

2. Teri and Ian
These two have been under the radar for quite some time, and one could assume that they lucked their way into their 3rd place finish by stumbling upon the easier detour option. But, in the end these two remain competent racers with strong performances both behind them and ahead of them.

3. Charla and Mirna
They likely won’t be here for long, but a 1st place finish can’t be ignored. They used strong skills navigating to the detour to work their way into position, and then picked the right detour to waltz into 1st place. Still, they’re weak, and will fall back again. Continue reading →

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March 16, 2007 · 9:52 am

“Veronica Mars. F.B.I.” – Show-Changing Spinoff in the Works?

Now, I don’t usually just post a link to an article and run, but I want to get this out there before I comment on it in detail over the weekend. While E! Online had some rather unfortunate news that Veronica Mars was being canceled this season last evening, this morning brought a somewhat different story from The Hollywood Reporter.

‘Veronica toys with time warp’ – The Hollywood Reporter

Veronica Mars might be looking at a quick graduation from Hearst College. The fate of the CW’s cult favorite remains uncertain, but if the show returns for a fourth season in the fall, it might find the young sleuth in a different setting. “Veronica Mars” creator Rob Thomas has come up with an idea to fast-forward a couple of years and have Mars studying at the FBI Academy. (As a freshman at Hearst College, Mars (Kristen Bell) has been taking criminology classes and been looking to do an internship at the FBI.) Thomas is filming a trailer for the alternative fourth season of the Warner Bros. TV/Silver Pictures show, which will be submitted to the CW.

This is a move designed to save the show for its creator and…parts of its cast, at the very least. I’m trying really, really hard not to comment, but briefly: I believe in Rob Thomas’ vision, Kristen Bell’s performances, and the casting abilities of this staff.

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March 16, 2007 · 12:07 am

Thursday Night TV Club – March 15th, 2007

D is for Drama:

Thursday Night on the Alphabet

With two of Thursday’s must-see comedies on hiatus, and due to CTV’s wonky scheduling, I figured it would be best if I watched three dramas this past evening in order to get a glimpse into a non-comedic side of things for a change. And, quite coincidentally, it appeared that this was actually turning into a review of ABC’s debuting Thursday lineup. The Alphabet debuted a new drama, and saw the long-awaited returns of both Ugly Betty and Grey’s Anatomy, a combination likely to lead to ratings success against NBC’s premieres, CBS’ NCAA Basketball and FOX’s hit game show not deserving of being mentioned by name. But, just because it wins the ratings battle, should we give it a pass from the analysis of the Thursday Night TV Club? Absolutely not.

8pm EST

Ugly Betty – “Icing on the Cake”

Anyone who isn’t rooting for the pairing of Henry and Betty at this point are, perhaps, dead to me. It’s clear, considering that Christopher Gorham attended the Paley festival roundtable this week, that he’ll be sticking around for awhile; I can only hope that they pull the trigger on this relationship by the time the season ends. Charlie is cute and all, but it’s fairly clear that they have to end up together in some way. Part of me hopes that they could be one of those couples who can just be together without being all dramatic about it…if there’s any couple I’d support putting into a plastic bubble, it might be this one.

As for the rest of the episode, things went about as you’d expect they would, although to be honest some of it was a little bit like running in place. Ignacio’s storyline went nowhere, Claire Meade’s storyline seemed to lack resonance, and the entire situation between Daniel and Alexis just never got off the ground for me. Even Amanda as a designer’s muse (Saw the reveal coming miles away…and were we supposed to know that actress, or was she just that bad an actor?) seemed to just sit there, waiting for me to be entertained. As what was essentially an episode where so much of the show treaded water, I don’t think I enjoyed it as much as the past set of episodes. As opposed to the icing on the cake, it really felt more like it had laid the icing next to the cake, and expected us to ice it ourselves…wow, no more cake late at night, it makes me metaphorical. Continue reading →

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March 15, 2007 · 10:05 am

Let’s Talk About NBC’s ‘Raines’ and ‘Andy Barker: P.I.”

NBC’s pilot season was a very interesting one, as two of its dramas and multiple comedies were designed for midseason berths which were undetermined last Spring. They remained undetermined in September, and even into the later months of 2006. The first of these shows, The Black Donnellys premiered to middling returns a few weeks ago, and the second and third ones debut in 30 Rock’s and ER’s respective timeslots this evening to, most likely, similarly low numbers: comedy ‘Andy Barker: P.I.’ and ‘Raines’.

The problem with Raines isn’t its execution, which due to Jeff Goldblum’s performance is actually kind of interesting, but entirely due to its concept. The idea of talking to the spirits of his victims isn’t the worst concept…except that it’s pretty much almost exactly the same concept as Medium, which also happens to be on NBC. Sure, there are some differences between the two concepts (Goldblum’s aren’t actually those people, but representations of those people in hallucinatory form), but in the end they boil down to the same basic principles.

However, Raines can’t even best Medium in this category. While I am not a huge fan of the show, Medium is successful because it provides a family dynamic which grounds the show’s protagonist. It’s a show about her, not about crime and murder, and it makes it all work. Raines, despite its premise, feels like just another crime procedural. There’s a bit of an over-arching mystery to things, but it’s so tenuous that one can’t help but grow bored with the show’s pilot. There’s some good acting from Goldblum, an interesting concept…but it’s all a bit dreary.

For those looking for something more light-hearted in the detective arena, look no further than ‘Andy Barker: P.I.’, which debuts in 30 Rock’s timeslot. While I haven’t seen the pilot, or gone out of my way to get around NBC’s “No Canadians allowed” policy to their online streaming of episodes, word has been fairly positive about this single-camera comedy. Andy Richter is good for a laugh, Tony Hale (Buster on Arrested Development) is dependable, and despite the terrible commercials I believe the show has some potential.

However, the most interesting thing about this is that these shows have little to no potential of achieving success. After its Thursday debut, Raines’ timeslot will be in the dead zone of Friday Evenings. Plus, it only has 7 episodes, and it will need to be a breakout hit to be renewed. The problem is…it’s almost impossible to be a breakout hit on Fridays. There just isn’t the ability for a show to succeed to the level it needs to on Friday Nights, and there’s no doubt that Raines will suffer because of it.

Andy Barker has a better chance of succeeding if its ratings stay steady with that of 30 Rock’s, and if NBC decides to get rid of Scrubs. The Office also had a short 6 episode first season run, but NBC stuck with it and found ratings and creative success. Apparently Andy Barker grows similarly over its 6 episode run, so NBC might decide to try out an Earl/Office/30 Rock/Andy Barker “Comedy Night Done Right” in the fall. Still, though, with so few episodes and a lack of immediate success for the more high-profile 30 Rock, will people tune in to see Andy Richter? I doubt it, personally, but anything can happen.

Raines airs at 10pm EST on NBC, Andy Richter at 9:30pm EST on the same.

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March 14, 2007 · 9:49 pm

Lost – “Par Avion”

Gone to the Birds:

Lost’s Migratory Movements

This week’s episode of Lost was all about birds, both literally and metaphorically.

The Raven – John Locke

Finally we get to see a little bit more of Locke’s nefarious planning leading up to next week’s episode. We knew that his actions with the computer were sketchy, and that he certainly seems to have somewhat different motivations than Kate in this scenario, but it is becoming clearer that Locke has his own mission of sorts here.

Much of this was precipitated by an explanation of the list by Mikhail, specifically regarding the John Locke he once knew. Is this the John Locke who fought boars and found his way into his hatch? If anything, it’s the John Locke we once knew ourselves and have been yearning for. I certainly believe that it is the John Locke who steals C4 and seems to have his own special plans for the Others once he gets into their Barracks.

The return of Locke as a character of important and, most important, mystery has been one of the reasons the show has improved greatly over the past few weeks, and this episode appears to send us heading further towards finding out more about Locke’s past.

The Pigeon – Dr. Christian Shepherd

You know how, when you’re in a park of any sorts, you see a whole lot of pigeons? Well, it appears that Dr. Christian Shephard is the backstory equivalent for Lost. Now having been spotted in the back stories of four different characters (Jack, Sawyer, Ana Lucia and Claire), there’s little question that he is somewhat important to the mythology of all of these characters.

We didn’t learn too much new about Christian in this episode, except that perhaps his frequent tips to Australia make a bit more sense. I would have to go back and watch his visit to the house while under the care of Ana Lucia to see if it connects to Claire or to some other character, but either way I like this continued development. John Terry is good in the role, his bones are sitting somewhere on the island, and it was somewhat nice to see a back story have some sort of ramification on the show’s overall mythology after a few very insular back stories.

The Common Indian Myna – Claire

Now, apparently, the Common Indian Myna is an invasive pest in Australia, which is kind of how I felt about Claire in this episode. Don’t get me wrong, the character isn’t quite that awful, but the problem was that it was a diversion to the much more interesting storyline regarding the search for the Others’ barracks.

It just sometimes feels like it’s a different show we’re watching, and this is frustrating when the other storyline involves people suffering from cerebral hemorrhage. Claire’s storyline wasn’t terrible in terms of backstories go, but her quest for a sea bird was too similar to everyone else’s quests to get off the island and provide hope for the future. Much like Bernard’s, however, there really wasn’t much hope in the least, and it was all rather misguided.

I like that we’re returning to long-forgotten characters, but I just felt like there were more important stories to be telling…and therefore it was a storyline very similar to an invasive pest.

The One That Flew the Coop – Jack

He’s fraternizing with the Others, playing football with Tom? From the preview, he’s being all friendly with even Ben? We knew that Jack was in fairly good spirits with the Others when they left the small island, but how did this all develop here? I’m assuming that it’s in an attempt to save Juliet’s life, but it’s clear that he’s not too concerned about escaping anytime soon (The running towards them was a neat little freakout).

I think it adds an interesting dynamic to things, and I very much like how this storyline is moving quite quickly. Whereas often these storylines have taken awhile to develop, this has moved quite quickly. One episode wandering in the woods following North, one episode at the Flame, one episode getting past the sonic boom fence, and then bam! They’re at the barracks. Some nice little mythos tidbits along the way (Some interesting stuff with the list and the talk about leaving and coming to the island [For its healing properties?]), and some neat action sequences, and we find ourselves at a crossroads.

This is the kind pacing we saw in the show’s first season, and I think it’s a return to form of sorts. Now that we’re back to an integration between the Others and our castaways, let’s see if it can continue.

If you didn’t get a chance to see the episode, continue on for a recap. Continue reading →

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March 13, 2007 · 11:40 am

On the Bubble – The Shows in Danger of Cancellation

As I’m headed off to deal with some family business, here’s something to tide you over until that point. Variety has released their shows which they view as “on the bubble” at each of the main networks; it’s usually a pretty darn good indicator of things, so take a look.

Variety – Shows Face Their Zero Hour

Some things of note:

– 30 Rock appears to be somewhat safe, along with Friday Night Lights, all thanks to the precedent set by The Office. This is good news.

– Scrubs may be moving to ABC? That would be in everyone’s best interest, in my book; licensing fees are scaring away NBC, and since it’s owned by Touchstone anyways it would be a nice and easy transition to a network (ABC) searching desperately for a successful comedy.

– Jericho started so strong at CBS, and now it finds itself struggling…which is not good news for a show on CBS. With so many CSIs which could rerun in any timeslot to great success, you need to stay strong.

– The CW has the same problem as last season, really; no slam dunk drama pilots, nothing is really succeeding anywhere, and this might save a show like Veronica Mars. Contract talks with Gilmore Girls will prove quite interesting, but I’m disappointed to see no mention of One Tree Hill being canceled in the article. The idea of Veronica Mars being canceled and One Tree Hill remaining on the air hurts my brain.

So, which of your favourite shows that have struggled in the ratings are you looking to save for next season? Studio 60? Medium? Feel free to comment.

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March 12, 2007 · 10:37 pm

Jack Bauer Power Hour Rewind: Week One

With Heroes on hiatus for a number of weeks, and 24 continuing to truck along with new episodes due to its half-season schedule, it is necessary to retire the Superpower Bauer Hour for a while. However, I don’t think I could go a Monday without some indepth analysis of everyone’s favourite torture-filled hour? However, of course, it’s nice to have something to compare it to, but what is there that could compare to Jack Bauer?

The answer? Jack Bauer.

It’s a popular sport to compare the various seasons of 24, and I’ve oft been known to engage in such discussions with great conviction. There’s no question that each season has its own style, its own flow, but which season stands out the most? And, specifically at this portion of the season, how was each “Day” dealing with its multiple storylines? These are important questions that I believe could perhaps be answered as we head back into Jack’s past to analysis the 13th hour of each season this week in the Jack Bauer Power Hour Showdown.

24: The 13th Hour

Season Six

This season’s 13th episode was dealing with two specific story threads which each held up fairly well in the episode.

1. Black Ops

The introduction of Mike Doyle, our Black Ops specialist, is an interesting one purely because it replaces Curtis who died earlier this season. It’s always strange to see these types of activities done without Jack’s involvement, and I always wonder to what extent Doyle will play a role in future episodes. He’s joining the cast, we know this much, but it’s still a bit strange to see.

Jack might not have had much to do in the scenario, but the huge gunfight to end the episode is certainly more than enough to make up for any lack of action in the earlier portion of the episode. We don’t see many missions like this very often, so when they get a chance to just plain ol’ open fire on a consulate, it’s something to talk about.

2. International and Interpersonal Intrigue

I was typing the above Black Ops portion of this post when I stopped everything and nearly screamed. Martha Logan, hysteric and delusional but certainly fairly stable, suddenly turned on a dime and plunged a knife into the right side of her ex-husband’s chest. The audible gasp was something that only 24 is able to accomplish to the same degree.

The characterization of Martha and Charles Logan was stunning in the fifth season, leading to Emmy nominations for both Jean Smart and Gregory Itzin. The madness of it all continues here, and it continues to be a stunning piece of acting from these two. Here, even as its contrived into the international conflict at the episode’s centre, it just plain old works.

Mind you, I do wish that we wouldn’t have ended the episode with Logan on his death bed, but the way the situation was resolved seemed natural if a tad fast. More importantly, it was all balanced quite well, which is always the toughest problem for an episode of 24.

And, on top of this, we end the episode with word that one of the bombs is ready to launch, and the threat is once again increased. On the whole, the episode set up a fair amount of constructs for future weeks, and resolved the consulate conflict. A fairly eventful episode I’d say.

However, how does it compare to the other 13th hours in the show’s history? If you’re curious, continue reading after the break.

[SPOILER NOTE: Plot details of the first five seasons will be discussed in medium detail, so if you haven’t watched them yet and plan to stay away! Well, actually, I shouldn’t be turning people away. So stay and watch them later, they’ll be just as exciting]

Continue reading →

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