Easter Sunday: What Would Jesus Watch?

First of all, a big ol’ Happy Easter to everyone. Since a large majority of North Americans are spending time with family today, what better time to sit in front of the television and enjoy hours of your favourite TV shows? There’s plenty of options for those family gatherings, should you be too full from feasting on Ham and such things to do something more active. So, let’s take a look at each hour of television to see what might be your best bet.

But, I figure it’s not really fair to just use my opinion, so considering the spirit of the day and the spirit of good humour (Seriously, this is intended in a light-hearted manner), let’s ask ourselves a rather important question:

What Would Jesus Watch?

That’s right, considering that today celebrates Jesus’ resurrection, I figure that it’s fitting to take a look at what he might view on television this evening. There’s a whole lot of TV, so he’ll have a lot to choose from. As a result, he’s got his TiVo ready to record a 2nd program in every hour. He just couldn’t choose one, clearly. To offer a more diverse view (He is really quite set in his ways), I’ll then offer my pick of what I would watch during that particular hour. So, without further adieu, let’s took a look at what’s new on TV tonight.

8pm EST

What Would Jesus Watch?

7th Heaven (The CW) – While he disapproves of some of the Camden family’s more immoral moments, Jesus enjoys their spirituality and the lessons which the show prescribes to its viewers. He’s very upset that the CW is planning to cancel the show, and has organized a letter campaign.

What Would Jesus Tivo?

Extreme Makeover: Home Edition (ABC) – Yes, Jesus has a Tivo for those moments when there are two shows he just can’t miss in an hour. In this case, Jesus can’t help but be moved by the stories of human triumph over adversity, plus that Ty Pennington is a real hoot.

What Would Myles Watch?

Amazing Race: All-Stars (CBS) – I’m going to have to disagree with Jesus on what to watch this hour, although I can’t blame him for not wanting to view The Amazing Race after the amount of annoyance it’s caused God all these years. With the amount of people who ask Him to help them win a reality TV show, I think there’s a heaven-wide ban on the program. And a letter-writing campaign against it.


9pm EST

What Would Jesus Watch?

The Sopranos (HBO) – It may be violent, and it may have fowl language, but Jesus is a fan of the escapades of Tony Soprano. Why, you ask, would Jesus enjoy such an immoral television show? Well, Jesus has been waiting for six seasons to see Tony Soprano pay for his sins with his life, and with the start of the six season he’s more impatient than ever.

What Would Jesus TiVo?

Deal or No Deal (NBC) – While he wouldn’t want anyone else to know he watches it, Deal or No Deal is Jesus’ guilty pleasure. It’s one of those shows which makes him incredibly angry: “I died so you could live, and you refuse a $250,000 deal? This is unbelievable!”

What Would Myles Watch?

Desperate Housewives (ABC) – I haven’t been watching the show lately, but it’s something I might catch up on as the season comes to a close. Still, since Jesus took two of the better options, it was this or Cold Case. And, sorry, no one watches Cold Case if they don’t have to.

10pm EST

What Would Jesus Watch?

The Apprentice (NBC) – Although this season has been particularly disappointing for Jesus, this week’s episode promises the mass firing of at least four people (from 6 to 2) and apparently Trump gets really angry when he fires one of them. Jesus keeps hoping that some people with real dignity of spirit will emerge, but he’s starting to lose hope.

What Would Jesus TiVo?

Brothers and Sisters (ABC) – This show, recently renewed for a second season, has grown on Jesus. It presents a wide-ranging family with diverse views and opinions, which is quite refreshing these days as it reflects the diversity of the world’s population. That said, it is a little bit lacking in the spirituality of the Camdens.

What Would Myles Watch?

Entourage (HBO) – While I’m a fan of Brothers and Sisters, the return of Entourage is by far the most exciting event of the evening for me. The show left itself at a real crossroads, and I think it’s going to be a good direction for the series to head in.

So, that’s that! If anyone perhaps disagrees with my assumptions of what Jesus would watch (Maybe he’s a huge fan of Cold Case and I just didn’t give it enough credit), feel free to leave angry messages below.

2 Comments

Filed under 7th Heaven, Entourage, Reality TV, Television, The Amazing Race, The Apprentice, The Sopranos

2 responses to “Easter Sunday: What Would Jesus Watch?

  1. You look seriously creepy in that picture.

    I recognize that was probably your intent. I just felt that you should know you succeeded.

  2. Satanic success is no less sweet, it seems. Merci.

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