On August 13th, Mary-Kate Olsen will emerge from her twin sister’s shadow and take arguably the largest starring role of her career as a cast members of Showtime’s Weeds. I’ll be honest with you: this is stunt casting at its finest. The role of a conservative Christian teenager who falls into a relationship with Silas (Hunter Parrish) could have been filled with scores of other young actresses, but Showtime likely insisted on someone that could get people talking.
So, I figure that Jenji Kohan and her writing staff should take advantage of this and be sure to milk their new co-star’s pedigree of sorts when writing the new season of Weeds (For more info on the new season, you can read Cultural Learnings’ Weeds: Season Three Preview.) Here’s ten possible storylines for the former child star that might get people talking; for some fascinating examples of said discussion, head over to my pal Erin’s juicy Olsen Twins gossip page, MKAshley.
Silas already got his girlfriend Megan pregnant by putting holes in condoms, so it’s not as if there isn’t already a precedent here. Plus, if she gets pregnant on the show, it will start a whole slew of real life pregnancy tabloid rumours that will send the internet into a frenzy. It has all sorts of potential going against her fundamentalist background on the show as well.
2. Marijuana Dependency
The show’s called Weeds, people, so dabbling in the Mary Jane seems like a logical step for Mary-Kate. Silas takes on a new role in Nancy’s business in the fourth episode of the season that could make him into the facilitator of this dependency as well.
It’s big with the teen queens these days (Oh Lindsay Lohan), and the series has not frowned from depicting the effects of alcohol in the past (Celia has a wonderful affair with the bottle early in the show’s third season). Plus, since Silas is a petty criminal, it would help them bond if she had a record as well.
4. Secret Twin Sister
It is somewhat sad I only got to #4 before trotting out this one, but it’s just too perfect. One sister can be the conservative christian, the other one can want to get into Silas’ pants. Comic hijinx ensue.
5. Awkward May/December Romance
Matthew Modine plays an insanely creepy developer/mayor of sorts for the religious community of Majestic where Olsen’s character will live. There always lies the potential for him to be perving it up by hitting on, and even sleeping with, the younger members of the community.
6. Road Trip
Mary-Kate and Silas can go to New York, and Eugene Levy will be there. OR they could go to Grandma’s house and get kidnapped and then there would be a lottery show with a giant wheel. (I have vivid memories of that particular film, for no reason I can fathom. I was six.).
7. Rave Chick
Considering that Silas and his ex Megan went down the Ecstacy route at one point in the series, I figure it’s entirely possible that Mary-Kate’s character might be more than he bargains for in the partying department. She might be a part of a religious community, but I doubt that would stop the show from going down the route its gone with almost all other teenagers on the show.
8. Possessed by the Devil
Okay, so now I’m really stretching it to make it to ten. However, Weeds has never been able to have an exorcism episode, and it seems to me that this is something that should clearly, obviously be rectified in the near future. Every good show needs one, it’s like some sort of rule.
9. Clothing Line Designer
While it might be a distinctly more conservative lineup than their existing one, I’d say that Mary Kate’s character could probably hold her own in the conservative fundamentalist clothing market. I hear they’re big on sleeves.
10. A Normal, Slightly Oversexed Religious Girl
Okay, so maybe she doesn’t need all the sensationalism or the self-referential humour. Maybe the best way for her to integrate into the cast is to just appear as every other character in the show: slightly oversexed, a little bit naughty, but with a certain facade about her that makes her tough to crack. That should be more than enough for Silas to be interested, and more than enough to make her a strong addition to the show’s cast.
Weeds returns to Showtime on August 13th, but Mary-Kate won’t be showing up until, at the earliest, September 17th. Still, for new fans of the series tuning in to see Mary-Kate’s big stepping out of sorts, be sure to check out the first four episodes to gain some context.