Review – “American Gladiators”

There are some situations where you are embarrassed for people taking part in a particular television series. And, to a certain extent, this applies to American Gladiators, a series which very few people were really asking for. NBC’s decision to bring back the series was puzzling at first, but with the Writers’ Strike it actually ended up helping them tap into the childhood of viewers within the key 18-34 demographic.

[Edit: For the curious, the ratings for American Gladiators were solid, especially amongst key demos. PIFeedback has all the details, but the long and short of it is that it has the potential to be a huge hit if it keeps those demo numbers this evening.]

In the end, you have to be somewhat embarrassed for some of the individuals involved. Laila Ali was a high-profile boxer, but Dancing with the Stars has opened doors for her to…host this series? For some of the Gladiators, specifically stereotypical samoan Toa and howling and hairy Wolf, it must be hard to play roles more one-dimensional than anything seen in professional wrestling (And no, this isn’t embarrassing for Hulk Hogan, it is his calling). And, for some of the competitors, getting their asses kicked on national television can’t possibly be all that attractive for their future, especially when they’re competing for a middling $100,000 prize.

But I cannot possibly be cynical about something that knows it is this corny and is aware of just how simplistic this process is. If the show took itself seriously, I would criticize it. If it became so corny that the competitive element became worthless, I would criticize it. But through the series’ first two hours, I couldn’t help but geek out at the first round of Assault or enjoy watching people struggle their way through the Eliminator (And boy, did they struggle – one finished with blood all over their face, and others were essentially dead upon finishing).

But I don’t think I’m going to be tuning in every week, mainly because of how repetitive this series will become. Hype and Hulk Hogan doesn’t change the fact that this is the type of show we watch when there’s nothing else on – and while the strike may result in a large sampling, I don’t really think I’ll be changing my TV standards just because there’s less quality programming. American Gladiators is not bad, but it simply isn’t something I would normally spend an hour of my time watching. I will not remember these people’s names, and their dreams and goals will not be enough to keep the series in my mind after this evening.

Over the course of the two episodes which aired tonight, it became clear that the show’s goals are similar to the original version: trash-talking competitors, ludicrously muscled Gladiators, and an audience willing to yell at will for the sake of the cameras. All of these elements bring a smile to my face, as they should to most people who enjoyed the original as part of their younger years. Everything is a bit more “Xtreme,” and the catchphrases are just a little bit too lame from both contestants and gladiators.

Actually, I think I would have been fine with much of the show’s cheesiness if it wasn’t for the overly dramatic and frustrating announcer whose use of puns and an “excitement voice” tends to drag things down. It’s one thing for Hulk Hogan to say these things, as his general enthusiasm is always enjoyable (I loved the contestants referring to him as either “Hulk” or “Hogan” on a very personal level). But “Titan is always ready for fightin’ is just neither entertaining or worthwhile.

By the show’s second hour, however, the tiredness of the formula became more clear. While the second episode was superior in terms of competitiveness, it still didn’t really make any impact in terms of individual contestants or individual stories. The first episode, in particular, just wasn’t all that enjoyable – while there was some twists and turns in the Eliminator, it was identical to what we saw in the 1990s. There was some decent Gladiator/Contestant feuding in the second episode (Jeff, who got a second shot at the series after competing in the old version, clashed with everyone) but none of them seem to be “real” personalities that could sustain this over multiple weeks.

The two-hour premiere, then, both helps and hurts NBC. It provides more time for viewers to see all of the events they remember, but it also demonstrates how the unpredictably of the series (Two injuries in the first episode, as an example) is ultimately outweighed by the elements of the series which are the same every time. With only $100,000 on the line, the stakes seem too low for us to sit through every single episode of this series when it heads to its normal timeslot tomorrow night at 8pm.

But I’ll be curious to see if the novelty will have run off by the time the show’s third hour runs out. The new events don’t really add anything to the game, the characters aren’t really enough to hold my interest, and while preferable to Deal or No Deal I really don’t think I’ll be going out of my way to watch the series in the future. It’s not that the show is bad, because it pretty much is exactly what you’d expect. I just don’t know if the changes made are enough to make the series relevant for a new generation…but I don’t really think relevance is what they’re searching for.

But, still…it still looks like a hell of a lot of fun, I can’t deny it.