Live Commentary: Deal or No Deal Canada

I don’t feel like doing much reading, so I’m going to continue live-blogging the non-sports parts of this evening.

11:00pm: We’re starting on time? This is surprising!

11:01pm: Maple leaf set? Check. Models wearing red? Check. Howie Mandel? Check. Really lame Canada jokes? More than I could possibly imagine.

11:03pm: Our first contestant is Brian Trainer, who needs a looser fitting shirt. That tattoo is distracting. He’s from Medicine Hat, and apparently a DND Firefighter. He’s engaged, and he brought a racy firefighter calendar. Or I assume it’s racy, he apparently brought it to pick numbers out of. There’s only 12 months, Howie’s banter is actually quite good.

11:05pm: Okay, the Loonie/Toonie touches are actually kind of charming. Also, the calendar is not racy at all. I’m shocked.

11:06pm: Brian takes Case #5, his number in the calendar. He then opens case #12, and it has $5k. Case 24 has a Toonie. The cases, for some reason, seem ugly. Canadian production values FTL.

11:07pm: Case 19 is being held by someone from Stellarton, who Howie makes fun of for being a pageant girl. They don’t have pageants in Stellarton. She breaks his heart, though, ends up with $200k. Ouch.

11:08pm: Case 10 is from Rivere-du-Loup. And she has $50. I stayed in a hotel there once, it was half decent. There was a pool.

11:09pm: Her name is Shanu, Case 29 or something, but I heard Shamu. Case #15 is…$500,000. Ouch, this is rough. On the whole, a pretty crappy first run that won’t do much for him.

11:10pm: Okay, having a Canadian banker seems fairly ridiculous…for some reason, we see a bit more of this banker, and…oh god, Rogers is sponsoring the phone line. They’re IN THE SAME ROOM. Such a waste of funds, just yell out the offer. The first offer is coming in, and it’s a pretty good one: $30,000. It seems high, maybe the banker’s pacing as opposed to sitting is raising his blood pressure and thus the offers.

11:11pm: Deal or No Deal? Come on, people. What do you think he says? No Deal it is. And now it’s Rick Campanelli with the annoying mobile phone games that NBC has been doing recently. Honestly, do people actually enter these things? They’re ripping off a generation of young teens who don’t understand the value of phone service.

11:13pm: There’s apparently a pry tool on his arm, a fire hydrant on his back…and then there was a dog pee joke.

11:14pm: Case #13 shows…$100. Well played. #8…is the Million. What a shocker. He didn’t win a million. There goes the big chance at the post-Superbowl madness. He then ditches the calendar (Ouch, poor firefighters) and on his first non-calendar pick the loonie goes off the board.

11:15pm: $50,000 goes off the board, and her reaction agrees…eh, could be worse. Platoon #1, case #1, and the model tells a terrible joke but reveals a great case, the Penny.

11:16pm: Next offer is $42,000, and we get to meet the team. We find a Mother, an Older Sister, and a “Middle” sister. Which is somewhat strange…and now the mother has pulled out a childhood duck. Lucky ducky. Howie avoids touching it, that thing is likely a noted germ carrier. He’s keeping his distance, slowly backing away. The deal is still too low with $750k sitting on the board. Brian listens to consensus, who does that?!

11:18pm: #4 is picked up…and we see $200. He gets away with another one. #25 shows us…$300. Lucky ducky indeed, apparently. #3, all alone on the bottom row, opens to reveal…$75. And ANOTHER terrible firefighter joke. They were coached. And Case #20…is a fairly good $25,000. This is going to result in a solid deal, the right side is now larger than the left.

11:20pm: The banker seems quite generous, as well as quite active. More imposing, shall we say. We head to commercial without a deal.

11:24pm: We’re back with the details of the first substantial offer we’re going to see…Beyonce, when did that come in? Anyways, the deal: $73,000. It’s still less than 10% of the largest number…oh my god THEY’RE SINGING. THEY’RE SINGING! His family decides to sing, and it was terrifying, and I hope they never do it again. And way too many fire references.

11:25pm: Brian isn’t very good at building suspense for the Deal/No Deal…it’s No Deal.

11:26pm: Case #14 brings Brian…$10,000. Still a rough number to lose, but not catastrophic in the least. #11 shows…$100,000, that’s rough. It’s the lowest of the big ones, but keeping those small numbers in there is very rough for his deal status.

11:27pm: Bonne Chance brings him $10, which is going to be helpful at this stage. Losing the $100,000 was the biggest blow. People are really booing the banker, it’s quite unfortunate.

11:28pm: Now, we’ve moved into six figures. $121,000. That’s a lot of money. There’s only two cases to open, and there’s a fair amount of small cases left, you have to go for it. How lucky does he feel? Let’s go to the fiance, Chantal. She refuses to make a decision, or have an opinion. Howie coaxes a risk-taking perspective out of her. He shows balls, and refuses to take the deal.

11:29pm: Case #18 is the first to tempt fate. Brian awkwardly follows him. And is then that much closes when she opens $300,000. That’s bad, folks. That’s bad. That limits the deal potential to about $325,000. #6 is the next to be opened, who apparently looks nice. This means more than any other case: the most important so far. This is why we’re, of course, heading to commercial.

11:33pm: We’re back to see if he’s doomed to a likely $20,000 deal. It’s the make or break moment. Case #6 is opened by Daphne to reveal…$500! He’s safe, for now, but you have to take this deal. There’s now way too much risk, especially with the whole process of…this Rogers line stuff is really annoying. If you’re the banker, you do as he does; you knock down the offer. $109,000 is the offer, which is a tough range. The reality is that it’s a tough call to make; how far up will the offers go, even, to justify the risk?

11:36pm: The family is behind a Deal. The crowd is thirsty for failure, they want No Deal. Duncan wants him to “take the %$#% money, you douchebag”…and he does. He takes the $109,000, which allows us to check in on what is within his case. Did he make a good deal. His next choice: 12, 75k. $140,000 deal lost. 22 is $750. $202,000 deal lost. 16, $1,000, $268,000 deal. This is getting depressing. And finally, on 17, he hits the $750,000. Only $400 in his case, so…wow, that was a lot of numbers, too many. Basic story, he could have won more but it was the smart decision.

11:42pm: And we’re ready for another contestant, Theresa…Deransinane. I’m not getting any graphics. And now she’s screaming. I shall call her Screamer. Screamer has a mini Mountie, and she’s a Mounte. Screamer screams some more. She’s known as the Mini-Mountie. The figurine is the Minier Mountie. Not funny. Screamer screams some more, I want to punch her.

11:44pm: Oh my god, she’s talking to the figurine. The figurine suggests she pick Case #15, for two sentimental reasons that I’m surprised a PIECE OF WOOD was aware of.

11:45pm: Case #2 is opened next…$10. (Note: The Cell Phone game, due to “demand”, was extend. You mean a lack thereof.) $750 elicits more screams from the screamer. This IS going to be a long game, Screamer. I will throw things.

11:46pm: $25,000 isn’t mini at all, but it’s not terrible. #11 is similarly unfortunate, at $10,000. She’s seriously out of breath. Luck #7 brings…the penny? This is a VERY good opening round to this point. Might even be deserving of one scream…at the END. Not all the way through. #19 closes it out with $100 and some random kicking from Screamer. She doesn’t deserve this success.

11:47pm: Now she wants to talk to the banker? Lame. “How can something so small be so loud and annoying?” Ha, banker, you and I should hang out. Top First Offer: $44,000. That’s very solid, I hope she takes it just to get her off my TV screen. She would see her Grandmother in the Phillipines. LAME. Tradition is boring, Screamer.

11:48pm: Oh my god, she just gave this hideous laugh thing after she shut the button…I’m frightened.

11:51pm: I’ll blog more about it tomorrow, but the GM Machine Suicide commercial is just…amazing.

11:52pm: Deal or No Deal Canada will apparently be going head to head with CSI/Grey’s at 10pm on Thursdays.

11:53pm: And we’re back with Screamer, who is NOT adorable Howie, but rather terrifying. And she said “eh”. Thanks, Screamer. She starts round 2 with 10, which reveals the first big number: 200k. Next is $75…and the screaming is back. Fail, damnit, fail! Number one stops the screaming with $100k. 16 shows…$750k. That’s no good at all. She’s quiet. It’s quiet! This game…oh god, then she said one million dollars and raised her arms in the air. #5 will close out the set with…$1,000,000.

11:55pm: Wow, what a way to end my night! Here I was all annoyed and then she gets her ass kicked. Karma, bitches! The Banker is happy, as he should be, and the offer has gone down to $19,000. That won’t even get her airfare for 2. We meet her family…she’s married? Poor guy. We get a best friend, the aforementioned husband, and her…brother-in-law. Her decision is easy: No Deal.

11:56pm: And we’re moving quickly. 25 shows $1000. 26 shows $500. And now screaming, damn Screamer. 17 shows $300. 6 shows…$500,000! No screaming! This is fabulous. The husband says it is okay. He’s delusional. She’s been damaged greatly. Pity party! Woo! The offer is $31,000…at this point, you just play for the sake of screaming.

11:58pm: The family says No Deal. They’re greedy, the husband is all smiley…and she agrees with him and three more cases are in play. I love how the expectations are now so low. And with that, Howie signs off.

11:59pm: Next week promises…old guy, a hockey star, and more SCREAMING. Damn you, Screamer, damn you straight to hell.

So, one hour later, what’s the verdict? It’s a tough break, really. On one hand, it was just as entertaining as a normal episode of Deal or No Deal, but on the other the gimmicks were just plain annoying. As a post-Superbowl show I guess it did what it was supposed to do, but in terms of excitement the Screamer is just annoying, and has a maximum of just $300,000 to win. Not exactly a big draw against the one-two punch of CSI and Grey’s Anatomy.

Anyone have any thoughts on Deal or No Deal Canada? I know that some people are a little bitter about not being picked themselves, and they should be: I’d much rather watch pretty well anyone than the bloody Screamer.

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One response to “Live Commentary: Deal or No Deal Canada

  1. Pingback: A Leak in the Pipes: Reality Producers Move into Scripted Television « Cultural Learnings

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