Monthly Archives: February 2007

February 5, 2007 · 3:34 pm

The Ethics of Robot Suicide

In Canada, our Super Bowl commercials were quite unfortunately lame. Far too many for Rogers, on top of their sponsorship of Deal or No Deal Canada, and a lack of any of the Conservative attack ads we were promised. However, there was one that crossed the border, one that made me quite pleased in its…oddities.

GM Super Bowl Commercial: Robot Suicide

THE ROBOT JUMPED OFF A BRIDGE! It was the only Canadian commercial that made me stop everything I was doing and watch. The entire commercial is entertaining, but what about the subliminal messages implied? What if it wasn’t a machine, but a layed off GM worker instead? There are some implications here that make me quite entertained, but the commercial is really just a well-made piece of Super Bowl advertising. No celebrities, no gimmicks, but rather just a well-told story that defines it as a car commercial without seeming like one. It was, therefore, an incredibly successful commercial…plus the robot jumped off a frackin’ bridge, COME ON!

Live Commentary: Deal or No Deal Canada

I don’t feel like doing much reading, so I’m going to continue live-blogging the non-sports parts of this evening.

11:00pm: We’re starting on time? This is surprising!

11:01pm: Maple leaf set? Check. Models wearing red? Check. Howie Mandel? Check. Really lame Canada jokes? More than I could possibly imagine.

11:03pm: Our first contestant is Brian Trainer, who needs a looser fitting shirt. That tattoo is distracting. He’s from Medicine Hat, and apparently a DND Firefighter. He’s engaged, and he brought a racy firefighter calendar. Or I assume it’s racy, he apparently brought it to pick numbers out of. There’s only 12 months, Howie’s banter is actually quite good.

11:05pm: Okay, the Loonie/Toonie touches are actually kind of charming. Also, the calendar is not racy at all. I’m shocked.

11:06pm: Brian takes Case #5, his number in the calendar. He then opens case #12, and it has $5k. Case 24 has a Toonie. The cases, for some reason, seem ugly. Canadian production values FTL.

11:07pm: Case 19 is being held by someone from Stellarton, who Howie makes fun of for being a pageant girl. They don’t have pageants in Stellarton. She breaks his heart, though, ends up with $200k. Ouch.

11:08pm: Case 10 is from Rivere-du-Loup. And she has $50. I stayed in a hotel there once, it was half decent. There was a pool.

11:09pm: Her name is Shanu, Case 29 or something, but I heard Shamu. Case #15 is…$500,000. Ouch, this is rough. On the whole, a pretty crappy first run that won’t do much for him.

11:10pm: Okay, having a Canadian banker seems fairly ridiculous…for some reason, we see a bit more of this banker, and…oh god, Rogers is sponsoring the phone line. They’re IN THE SAME ROOM. Such a waste of funds, just yell out the offer. The first offer is coming in, and it’s a pretty good one: $30,000. It seems high, maybe the banker’s pacing as opposed to sitting is raising his blood pressure and thus the offers.

11:11pm: Deal or No Deal? Come on, people. What do you think he says? No Deal it is. And now it’s Rick Campanelli with the annoying mobile phone games that NBC has been doing recently. Honestly, do people actually enter these things? They’re ripping off a generation of young teens who don’t understand the value of phone service. Continue reading →

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February 4, 2007 · 9:21 pm

Super Bowl XLI – Halftime Commentary

It’s halftime, and that was quite the half. An opening kickoff return TD? Teams trading off turnovers not once, but twice?! Manning implodes, but then bounces back, but then kind of sucks again, and…Vinatieri misses a field goal? It has not been pretty, in any way whatsoever.

9:01pm: Shannon Sharpe just told me to keep my eyes on my luggage. Will do. We’re currently going over the large number of turnovers in the game.

9:03pm: We’re talking about conditions at this point, let’s remember the rain here. The commentators had said before that it didn’t look like it was going to rain much. Ha. Vanessa notices that Dan Marino has gotten a dye job. Steve does a little Bronco chat.

9:05pm: Halftime show commencing, ah yeah bitches! I have no idea why small children are currently singing We Will Rock You, but…they are. And now everything is on fire.

9:06pm: Prince appears to be performing Let’s Go Crazy. And, he’s performing in what I assume is the rain. And his dancers are writhing on the ground, as per usual. How does he find these people?

9:07pm: One person in the audience had a rain poncho on. She looked terrified to be there. Poor her.

9:08pm: Prince is officially now making weird noises, which apparently means he’s singing Baby I’m a Star.

9:09pm: And now comes to the marching band! Someone’s glowing. And now he’s singing Proud Mary. This is bizarre.

9:10pm: And now the entire marching band is glowing in the dark. It’s solid. And now he’s singing All Along the Watchtower. Which, okay. This is quite the interesting little set here, as he’s breaking into The Foo Fighters. This is, as the Elder puts it, “The Fucking Prince Rock and Roll Review.”

9:13pm: And now Prince is just rocking it out on the guitar.

9:14pm: Fireworks!

9:15pm: And now, fulfilling the obvious connection we saw as soon as it was raining, Purple Rain. And the stage is purple. (In other news, Chris just kissed Tim’s ass. It was gross.)

9:16pm: Now Prince is performing in front of a giant moving sheet wind thing, it’s all silhouetted and everything else. Very cool looking.

9:18pm: Now Prince, after working the crowd, finishes rocking out to Purple Rain and basks in the glory of the crowd.

9:19pm: The end verdict? Quite the spectacle, although certainly nothing outside of a normal rock show in terms of production. Unlike past years, which get caught up in big names and self promotion, it seemed like it was instead something that could only happen during the Super Bowl. It was Prince rocking out to his own music, and that of Queen, Dylan, Foo Fighters, and CCR. And, in the end, it resulted in something that was interesting, exciting, if not perhaps as commercialized as past years.

9:21pm: I’ve decided that nothing else will be happening of interest, so back to the game. Hope all enjoy it.

An Update on Post-Super Bowl and Counter Programming

Super Bowl XLI kicks off this evening, and with it comes a whole slew of spin-off benefits for advertisers, fans of CBS’ Criminal Minds, and even viewers to some extent. A game not about a game, but rather an event, is not something limited to the Super Bowl but there is nothing quite like it in any other sport. Nothing can match its sheer spectacle, its sheer madness and its sheer pop cultural power.

The game itself, a matchup between the Chicago Bears and the Indianapolis Colts, has its Cinderella stories. Peyton Manning is getting his first real shot at the coveted title, and after sending Tom Brady packing two weeks ago he’s riding the wave of individual popularity usually reserved for the much-oggled Patriots quarterback. The Bears’ defence is standing waiting for him, but…yeah, I must admit, I kind of bore myself when I get into too many details.

You see, I’m what one would call a recreational football fan. I know the rules, I know the strategies, I know the big stars, but don’t ask me to sit down and start obsessing over a certain player. I enjoy watching a good football game (See: Patriots/Colts last week), but I can’t get too excited about things beforehand. It just isn’t going to happen.

However, some people aren’t excited about the Super Bowl at all. This is entirely understandable, and there are some alternatives. They’re not great, though, I’ll warn you.

The Rich and the Poor: Programming After and During the Super Bowl

Post-Super Bowl

Criminal Minds (CBS) and Deal or No Deal: Canada (Global)

I previewed the episode of Criminal Minds a while back, and I must admit that my excitement has dropped even further as the commercials I’ve been seeing have been of “just another episode” of CBS’ serial killer crime drama. There’s nothing that makes it seem all that interesting, and they’re not even advertising James Van Der Beek. Probably smart.

However, I’ve been avoiding recognizing the existence of Deal or No Deal: Canada. Basically, it’s the same show but with Canadian people winning Canadian money (No tax, bitches!) and Canadian “ladies” opening the cases. It’s a bit too gimmicky for my tastes, and the fact that it’s the same host and everything is somewhat frustrating. I know that Howie Mandel is already Canadian, but this is even worse than what was done with Millionaire. These shows have how many incarnations around the world, with different styles and hosts, but our proximity to the US appears to dictate that little of our own culture can really seep into the production. This is especially the case when it’s just the same cake with slightly different icing.

Damn, now I want cake.

Counter Programming to the Super Bowl

The Puppy Bowl (Animal Planet), Grease: You’re the One That I Want Marathon (NBC), X2: X-Men United (FOX), Old School (ABC)

You can watch four hours of people trying to become broadway star, mutants fighting against injustice and anti-mutant sentiment in the public, Will Ferrell streaking after having joined a fraternity at a ridiculously old age, or eight hours of puppies playing with sports equipment and tackling each other adorably.

I vote puppies. And now I want cake and a puppy. This is bad.

So, whatever you decide to watch, I hope you enjoy your Super Bowl Sunday. Hopefully the game manages to live up to all of the hype surrounding it. I might do a feature on the commercials if there’s enough good ones, time will tell. But, to preview my most anticipated event (The first Puppy Bowl held smack dab in the middle of the YouTube revolution), here’s clips from Puppy Bowl III.

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February 2, 2007 · 6:46 pm

How Do You Solve a Problem Like “EdHelms”a?

Earlier this season on The Office, after Jim had transferred to the Stanford offices of Dunder-Mifflin, he began working with an individual named Andy, played by former “Daily Show” correspondent Ed Helms. He was brash, somewhat ridiculous, and referred to Jim as “Big Tuna” at all times. Jim’s first attempt at pranking him, putting his stapler into Jello, was met with a violent trash can kicking. Since we all knew that Jim would eventually be headed back to Scranton, we all thought that perhaps Andy was short-lived as well.

We were wrong, and rightly so; the character began to gain traction, becoming less of a novelty and more of a foil, and quite a powerful one. Transferred to Scranton at the midpoint of the season, he proved a valuable comedic asset for the show. He feuded with Dwight over Michael’s affections, he made sexual passes at all of the women in the office, and he did everything in his power to suck up to whoever he had to suck up to. This particular story arc to Andy hit a fantastic peak as Jim decides that Andy should go after Pam, feeding him everything she hates as her most passionate likes, and then watching as the madness ensues.

The result of all of this was one of my favourite moments in the Office this season. Maybe it was just that the episode was written by Stephen Merchant and Ricky Gervais, executive producers of the UK version of the Office, but his character just clicked in this episode. This could not have been more evident than when, at the episode’s conclusion, Andy got out his banjo and did a falsetto, pig latin version of “The Rainbow Connection.” The character was sweet, charming, and not some sort of dangerous madman at this point.

The problem was that Dwight was also there, and Ed Helms as a guest star was playing second fiddle. They couldn’t have two Dwights, so they had to do something to make Andy a different type of nuisance. This, done slowly over a few episodes, was incredibly damaging to his character. He went from decent worker to someone who is absolutely terrible at selling things. He became a thorn in Michael’s side to a degree Dwight never reaches. He viciously badmouthed Dwight, trying to get him fired in a way that didn’t seem petty, but rather vindictive. Then, returning to his original introduction to the show, a workplace prank resulted in Andy punching a hole through the wall.

Now, this week was Andy free, which may have confused some. However, the Producer’s Cut of last week’s episode showed Andy being ordered into Anger Management courses. However, the Office environment just seemed more natural without him. If I hadn’t been reading the internet earlier that day, I would have wondered where exactly Andy was, and maybe thought he was gone for good.

Instead, it appears that he is here to stay. It was announced yesterday that for the remainder of the season, Ed Helms will be a regular on The Office. I like this news, on the surface. I like Ed Helms, and I enjoy seeing Daily Show correspondents move onto big things. But, I worry, because they’ve written themselves into a corner with Andy. And therefore, they have to ask themselves: How do they solve a problem like “Ed Helms”a? Continue reading →

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February 2, 2007 · 2:40 pm

Thursday Night TV Club – February 1st, 2007

Well, here we are on the first official day of February Sweeps. What better way to usher in the month than with a night chock full of juicy sweeps episodes of your favourite TV shows?

This is definitely a busy night, especially considering that we’ve got some cliffhangers to resolve, a series winding down to its finale, a series coping with a switched-gender addition to its cast, and some Office realities to deal with. Let’s get to some honourable mentions first:

30 Rock

Oh, Tina Fey and Co., why did you have to hurt me so? Don’t get me wrong, there were some flashes of brilliance in this episode. I enjoyed Kenneth as the angel, Tracy as the devil, and I think that some of the Jack/Liz banter was good for the show’s development (And Isabella Rosselini was really quite funny in what I would hope to see become a recurring role should the show get the chance).

But, I have to wonder who thought that Paul Reubens’ inbred Habsburg Prince (Pictured) was a good introduction to the show. The character was never funny enough to justify its silliness, and pairing him with Jenna only made me dislike her more. I like Will Forte, and I think he was the best part of the whole situation, but it was just dreadful to watch. It made for a fairly weak episode of a show that is usually a standout amongst Comedy Night Done Right. Still, it gets major props for mentioning the Defenestration of Prague which Dr. Duke would be proud of.

The Office

I want to talk about the office more indepth later today, but as for this episode it was merely mediocre. The show isn’t bad by any stretch of the imagination, and Dwight quizzing Ben Franklin (Pictured) made me incredibly happy. The advancement of Jim/Pam/Karen was somewhat stagnant, but at least it was there.

The rest of it was just blah. The Stripper thing seemed to stress Michael’s idiocy to a degree that somewhat bothers me, especially after we saw him play the straight man to Andy (Who I’ll get to later today) in the past few episodes. On top of this, the rest of the episode just kind of lingered there, never really finding a proper grounding, and the advice/insight brought by the stripper was limited at best.

Still, there were some moments of laughter, but not enough to keep me enthralled with the episode on the whole. Plus, we all know that Jim is going to dump Karen, and then Pam will have moved back to Roy. It’s being choreographed so much I almost think it’s a ruse.

Grey’s Anatomy

Two marriage proposals result in, apparently, two marriages. A patient becomes incredibly toxic. Bailey opens her free clinic remarkably quickly. Izzy acts like a complete bitch. And Ellis Grey wakes up from her Alzheimer’s coma and is also a complete bitch, but one who is entirely correct if a bit selfish.

The result of all of this is an episode that goes a mile a minute. I didn’t even get into the whole crazily horny Addison thing, where she’s sleeping with Sloane purely out of lust, or the entire fact that Ellen Pompeo actually acted (I know, it was shocking). And, in the end, I think that so many things going on was perhaps the episode’s downfall, never quite settling on one thing or the other.

George and Callie’s marriage is doomed, simple as that, whether Sara Ramirez was added as a regular earlier this season or not. Izzy might be a bitch, but she’s technically right, it’s a horribly ill-advised scenario. I mean, he was a sex-crazed maniac one second, and then husband the next? She has some issues she needs to work out.

This being said, I have the exact opposite feeling about Cristina and Burke’s impending nuptials. They reacted the way they would, being surgeons, neither showing their emotion in their contemplation. Their final moment of Cristina refusing to wear the ring, but then accepting the proposal was perfect, and then it culminated in a celebration filled with elation, happiness (Pictured). It was a fantastic piece of television, and certainly made the episode worthwhile, but I just felt like it was too cramped, too rushed to enter into my Top Three.

So, without further adue, let’s get to the top Three for the Evening:

Continue reading →

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February 1, 2007 · 3:09 pm

Deconstructing American Idol: Manipulation at its Finest

Last week, I wrote about the new season of American Idol, and its penchant towards displaying the lowest of the low, and even dedicating a fair amount of time to their portrayal. While I talked about the whole question of these bad singers and the like last week, this week I want to look at each episode as the manipulation of our senses, a pattern developing to best serve a particular audience. The directors, producers and editors on American Idol, in a way, are like journalists crafting a story. So, let’s analyze last night’s episode to test out this theory.

Act One: Bringing the Funny

Let’s face it, these early episodes of American Idol are designed to make people laugh and make fun of people who can’t sing in the least, or are entirely oddball in their ways. It’s important for them to do so because they want to hook people in their story. People with short attention spans are immediately drawn into the humour of it all, and you can’t really blame them. The segments are lasting a bit long this season, but let’s face it: it’s still funny to watch people get horribly rejected.

But, in terms of power, the judges are in control, and this first person always shows this. The judges are immediately able to say a resounding no to a contestant, which immediately establishes them as the quality control of the operation.

Act Two: The Montage of Mediocrity

Not looking to lose those viewers who entered for the funny, they parade some of the worst singers doing one of a multitude of things. They could all be butchering the same song, all pleading for an opportunity to do better, or all having major problems with their pitch.

This places the audience in a position to just sit back and enjoy themselves, and it’s non-stop entertainment. Not only will this keep them from changing the channel, but it also continues to condition them into thinking that these singers aren’t good in the least. It most definitely manipulates us, as it often shows us only the negative parts of their audition, and you wonder if perhaps the rest of the song was better.

Act Three: Hope for Humanity (But not too much hope)

Here, the show provides two things: singers who have potential to be good but fail to live up to it, and individuals who can actually, you know, sing. These include people from previous seasons who are back to audition, people who have training but just try too hard, or people who can belt out a good tune.

This helps to keep people around, and shows a vulnerability in the power of the judges. If we had a show of all failures, they would appear too difficult, too rigid. Similarly, an episode of all people like this would remove their power entirely. This section is also there to keep people tiring of the bad singers (Read: Me) watching. Continue reading →

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