9:00pm: Welcome to the “Golden Globes Winners Special,” which is just a terrible name for this thing. Also of note: someone from NBC is in Nova Scotia (I, for the record, am also in Nova Scotia), which means that nominee Ellen Page is most certainly winning this evening. That’s good to know.
9:01pm: A seriously melodramatic opening here which leads to…the tackiest set ever with Access Hollywood setpieces. That’s…ugly.
9:03pm: It’s now time for analysis straight from the morning talk shows, as the cast of Access Hollywood begin with the nominees for Best Supporting Actress. And, wow, these graphics are awful. It’s Blanchett, Roberts, Ronan (Atonement), Ryan, Swinton – it’s Ryan or Blanchett in this case, methinks.
And the winner is…Cate Blanchett for I’m Not There, a strong precursor for her when she struggled in the critics’ prizes.
9:04pm: Billy Bush just totally said that Cate Blanchett can’t win for playing a man – this commentary is ridiculous. And now Television Supporting Actor, which gets no time for me to write down each candidate. And the winner is…
Jeremy Piven for Entourage? Frak, people, stop giving him awards: I love Piven, I really do, but this is getting ridiculous. Dillon is more noteworthy, and for that matter so is Ted Danson. People need to stop doing it, immediately.
9:06pm: Oh wow, I can’t type this fast: Lead Actress – Drama. Arquette, Close, Driver, Falco, Field, Hunter, Sedgwick. Who’s going to take this one home: it’s Glenn Close for Damages, which is somewhat surprising in a tough category. And we get more commentary regarding these people, which is really offputting…yet fascinating.