Liveblogging the 2007 Primetime Emmy Awards

Welcome to Cultural Learnings’ LiveBlog for the 2007 Emmy Awards! We’ve done a week’s worth of coverage leading up to this moment, and now it’s time to see how the awards turn out, starting with the one-hour pre-show and moving into the three-hour broadcast. So stay tuned to see just how much the Academy is going to miss The Sopranos during tonight’s Emmys broadcast.

[With the show now over, Cultural Learnings has posted its Highlights and Lowlights post that summarizes a lot of the feelings within this LiveBlog. Admittedly, there isn’t 7000 words there, so it’s a bit easier to digest. – Myles]

6:57 pm: Everything is set – admittedly, I’m watching on my snowy antenna connection, but it’s more than adequate to be able to tell Ryan Seacrest from Brian Dunkleman.

7:00pm: And we’re here with…Mark Steines! And…Laila Spencer? Someone from The Insider. And it is Ellen Degeneres to open the show, which is perhaps fitting considering her nomination in Individual Performance in a Variety Series. Her prediction: Tony Bennett. I really want Colbert to jump her at this point. However, I do believe she is quite good at this: she called Elaine Stritch beating her a few years back. Doesn’t bode well for Colbert.

7:02pm: Oh, I hate this person! Ugh, poor Kate Walsh, has to deal with this Britney Spears question. She does not deserve this type of idiotic punishment. Are they seriously going to try to milk this entire preview pretending Britney Spears is going to publicly apologize to the ENTIRETY of humankind? Because no.

7:04pm: Denis Leary is perhaps the largest long shot, and admits it – what is with all of these people being entirely logical about their chances? This is ridiculous. Either way, he goes on about how much he loves Gandolfini, but says he is honoured.

7:05pm: America Ferrera is looking stunning in a blue number, made specifically for her, and this reporter makes me want to throw things. She turns into a little kid, of course, when they start talking about the stars arriving (Like Tony Soprano, again). And we get our first introduction to the Theatre of the Round theory, as they’re always on camera. You’ll see what that is eventually.

7:07pm: Felicity Huffman and William H. Macy are both nominated tonight, and Mark Steines continues to ask people about how they got ready, their anniversaries, it’s very weird. Huffman’s dress is nice-looking, but made for someone with a bust…which she doesn’t really have. Or, if she does, the dress pretty well eliminates it.

7:08pm: And here’s the theatre of the round in full detail – is this seriously the attempt at making things “edgy”? It’s not a terrible idea, and should make for something out of the ordinary, but “new” does not equal relevant.

7:10pm: Rebecca Romjin and Jerry O’Connell, newlyweds, and she’s wearing vintage…which is not the same of recycling. We start discussing transgender relations, and for some reason her husband is more nervous than she is. And then he gets a little Carpoolers plug, his new comedy airing on Tuesdays.

7:12pm: Julia-Louis Dreyfus talks about how new and fabulous she feels, and how she never sees it coming. She’s still looking pretty good at this point, and says that she knows how it goes down. We get some plugs for her new season, including Jason Alexander, but of course The New Adventures of Old Christina isn’t coming until midseason on CBS.

7:13pm: Ignoring Lara for a second, the Elder makes a good point: I erred in not referring to William H. Macy and Felicity Huffman by their Stephen Colbert-crafted nickname: Filliam H. Muffman. It never, ever gets old. And yet I forgot about it. Colbert would be ashamed.

7:14pm: After a rather annoying fashion issue, we’ve got Steve Carell and his wife Nancy (who played Carol on The Office). He is not holding up too well, and he is surprised to be in their company or even employed. He had a rough summer (Evan Almighty will barely break $100 Million), but Get Smart is on the horizon.

7:16pm: Joely Fisher is wearing a similar dress, and talks about Brad Garrett instead of talking about her. That’s rather unfortunate, and they talk about wanting to play dressup. That seems like a rather odd connection.

7:17pm: Here he is, the spoiler. He’s one of the most hated men in comedy amongst young fans, in particular, because he basically stole Steve Carell’s Emmy last year. I’m not saying he doesn’t deserve them, but I can’t help but shake my fist in his general direction. Shahloub joins a long list of performers who basically says that he’s not going to win: more than the others, I hope he’s right.

7:18pm: Wayne Brady is inside the auditorium who introduces the Theatre in the Round. Which means that everyone has to be present and able to move. The stage apparently turns, or something like that, and then Brady pimps his show. Which is great, he says. “Come on, now!”

7:21pm: Another tidbit from the Elder – Steines messing up the throw to Joely Fisher was due to the fact that someone (Probably the Producer in his ear) assumed it was Jenna Fischer. Which would have made more sense, as no one REALLY knows who Joely Fisher is.

7:24pm: Dear Omar Epps – Please don’t spoil House for me. It’s mean. I knew Foreman was coming back, but “back with House” is something very specific and just uncool. You seemed like you almost wanted to ruin it for me, like you really don’t care about anything. Omar loves Emmys, and is very interested in her camera. As if he doesn’t see many cameras.

7:25pm: Marcia Cross was busy gorging on Spaghetti last year, and this year she was sadly overlooked thanks to her pregnancy hiatus. She looks radiant, despite giving birth to twins and all, and pimps Desperate Housewives’ fourth season. There’s a new gay couple (She says “male couple”), and then bitched Nathan Fillion’s name (Fillon. Boo.)

7:26pm: Jane Krakowski was robbed of a nomination in Supporting Actress for 30 Rock, simply because of how much I cared about Jenna (Even if I hated her). And then she gets cut off very quickly for Hugh Laurie, who feels like he is very tiny. And he is also British. And it makes me happy. He has a speech from Henry V, he says, but remains prepared. And knows which way it is going: It’s Tony, people. And then we throw to commercial.

7:29pm: I missed some discussion of the “green” aspects of the event. When even 24 is going green, I start to wonder just how green you need to be to “go green”, if you know what I mean. And yes, that rhymed.

7:30pm: There is breaking news about Britney Spears…still not able to confirm it. Again. They are entirely pimping this out, and it’s downright idiotic. And then we get counted down to…

7:31pm: Edie Falco talks about a rehearsal (This might be our Broadway number, perhaps?), and says that she misses her kids most considering she basically raised them. She doesn’t have a speech, but if I’m not mistaken the last time she won this award she had no voice. Once again, we’re testing my Emmy Award memory. And then we get a nice plug for 30 Rock.

7:32pm: Where are all the FOX stars? Eva Longoria is early to the Emmys for the first time, and she gets the rather unfortunate title of “She has never been nominated for an Emmy.” That’s quite the editorial, producers – considering that the show got pretty burned this year, she spins it as DH being the starting point (with Lost) of this era. She also has a lot of diamonds on her ring finger: yowza.

7:34pm: Jon Stewart wants to prove that he is funnier than Tony Bennett, and has some advice for Ryan Seacrest: don’t drink so much, and be able to stand. She attempts to turn him into a shrieking fangirl, and he is very clearly not buying it. And his wife is only on camera in order for their kids to be able to see her, and they wonder if they’ll get screwed up.

7:35pm: Helen Mirren rolls out of bed and gets nominations, and after waltzing away with an Emmy last year (For Elizabeth I), and then of course the Oscar. And the SAG. And the Golden Globe. And then is going to waltz away with the Emmy for Prime Suspect (A Crime Thriller Miniseries) tonight. Seriously: she’s magnetic. There’s really annoying brass band music in the background, and then yet another British performer doesn’t know how to throw to commercial.

7:39pm: Rachel Griffiths joins the list of competitors who believe they won’t win, and she uses her Aussie accent to inform us that Sally Field has a decent shot…which maybe. She feels a bit naughty in her black dress, and has some sort of wrist thing. She smartly observes that the show went through development hell at the beginning of the last season, and here she is today.

7:41pm: It’s Judith Light now, who plays the Meade Matriarch on Ugly Betty, and Vanessa Williams interrupts. These two are nominated, but Light of course already lost. She is actually being added to the cast for next year, and Light is clearly used to this.

7:43pm: Katherine Heigl thinks she has it right with a white number, and finds it really comfortable. And again, they’re talking about the Round so much that it’s clearly a terrible plan. If you need to sell something this hard, it’s not that difficult. She’s producing now, and will likely be the next to leave Grey’s to head into film more seriously. She didn’t say that.

7:44pm: Arriving in a Cadillac CDS (And not a Limo) are our accountants. Way to go, product placement! It’s the subject of an Emmy-Award nominated episode of TV, actually: 30 Rock’s “Jack-Tor,” featuring a great performance from Alec Baldwin.

7:49pm: Finally we get our FOX pimpage, as Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton are here to pimp their Emmy legacy in the form of “Back to You,” their comedy on FOX this year. Grammer is presenting Outstanding Comedy Series, and Heaton jokes that he has 18 Emmys lined up on the set. Steines, as he notes, really is just a mic stand here.

7:51pm: Heidi Klum and Seal! Oh, right, she runs Project Runway. She thinks she might be able to get lucky tonight, and was actually relieved she didn’t win last year. So now, she’s going in cold, and wants some better luck. She needs it, considering that The Amazing Race might just keep winning. Klum designed her own earrings, which are nice. And I STILL don’t understand why she’s with Seal. It’s weird..

7:52pm: Mariska Hargitay has her hair short, and seems like the pressure has been lifted even considering her win last year. Her son turned a year old, and she’s nominated tonight but you can’t really tell. It’s always easier the second time around. And she is much less confused about how to throw to a commercial than Laurie/Mirren. Must be a British thing.

7:55pm: As we head into the show, TheEnvelope.com has the full order in which the awards will be presented.

7:56pm: You know, I just realized this – There’s no Countdown on this Countdown to the Emmys. And now Nigel Barker is talking about fashion at the Emmys…for the second time ever. His biggest hits: Eva Longoria, Lisa Edelstein (Cuddy on House), Anna de Legero (I don’t know who that is), D.L. from Heroes (One of these things is not like the other) and…don’t know either. Hayden Pannetiere looks…kind of bad. Not kidding. Whoa, Jennifer Morrison is BLONDE. Unfortunate. I love how they didn’t get to the misses.

7:59pm: It’s on, people! Let’s head into the round!

8:00pm: Brian and Stewie Griffin open the show to the strains of Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing. Our favourite animated baby/dog head into a song that insults: Sanjaya, Scrubs (Piven? Not impressed for some reason), Cavemen, CBS (Little boy who lives with Charlie Sheen = Dangerous), Desperate Housewives, NBC’s Ratings, an awkward cut to T.R. Knight on an Isaiah Washington joke, The Sopranos (Blank Screen joke is so June). It’s kind of sad opening with animation, because it lacks any sort of real connection.

8:03pm: As Seacrest comes out – Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) is sitting with Masi Oka in front row. Seacrest points out how the Family Guy mention clearly means we’re on FOX (Although that requires no hooting or hollering). Seacrest is attempting to make jokes about his own inadequacy, this being a “results show,” and Simon. They’re pretty bad. And then he starts namedropping Conan and Johnny Carson. He mentions that he showed up early, offering up full service. And now he heads into the audience and starts picking up Eva Longoria and showing off his fashion sense. This is painful, but brilliant since Teri Hatcher (His woman, if you will) is right behind her.

8:06pm: William Shatner is the epitome of modesty by standing and accepting his kudos without prompting. And now Seacrest explains the Round system, which is going to drive me crazy due to the lack of a podium. Holding the award dramatically limits one’s ability to emote with their hands. And then we learn that Two and a Half Men is one of Seacrest’s favourite shows…I am not surprised.

8:07pm: Seacrest fake sings (Which was spoiled earlier), and here to present is Ray Romano…who doesn’t know whether to speak to the crowd or the celebs. It’s driving him crazy. As it should. Who would want to stare at Ray Romano’s ass all night. He makes the requisite “Frasier is screwing my wife” joke, and makes a great “Doris Roberts is senile” joke. If only he’d made a “Doris Roberts does dishwashing commercials” joke.

8:10pm: He’s still talking, do they have this much time to fill that he can give an entire standup routine? It’s funny: his wife tried to hook him up with Flava Flav, stick him on Dancing with the Stars, and mentions fighting on a blog…and disrespecting the celebrities (Don’t turn your back on The Sopranos). Sopranos Finale Joke #2? Check. At this rate, why isn’t Ray Romano hosting? Might as well be.

8:11pm: Supporting Actor in a Comedy. The nominees are Jon Cryer (Two and a Half Men), Kevin Dillon (Entourage), Neil Patrick Harris (How I Met Your Mother), Jeremy Piven (Entourage), Rainn Wilson (The Office). And the winner is…

JEREMY PIVEN.

A lazy, lazy choice by the Academy here, considering that he won last year (But he IS really good, after all). And he then gives it to his father, which is unfortunate because I was just going to rant about how Patrick Harris deserved it more.

8:14pm: Supporting Actor in a Drama is presented by Vanessa Williams and America Ferrera. The nominees are Michael Emerson (Lost), Michael Imperioli (The Sopranos),T.R. Knight (Grey’s Anatomy), Masi Oka (Heroes), Terry O’Quinn (Lost), William Shatner (Boston Legal). Based on the last award, this will be a safe choice. And the winner is…

TERRY O’QUINN!

Well, so much for the safe choice! This is a WELL deserved victory, making up for two years previous when Shatner stole his Emmy. This is awesome, way to go Academy!

8:16pm: Terry O’Quinn sends love out to some kids, and posits about how sometime when in the jungle on Lost he wishes he could cook up a batch of cookies on Wisteria Lane…and get one of their cheques. Michael Emerson gets a well-deserved mention, and then Terry O’Quinn gets played off. Within seconds. Boourns! It was a classy and clever speech, and finally Lost has its acting Emmy it deserved two years ago. Two deserving winners to start off (Even if one was too safe), I’m impressed.

8:20pm: From the Elder: “O’Quinn deserved it for Lost’s first season, and deserved it here too, especially for the way his character was able to find its legs again this season.” The pun was unintended, he assures me. But GENIUS.

8:21pm: Seacrest introduces us to the concept of “actresses”, using Sally Field (With her son) as his example. Seacrest is esentially going to be doing shout-outs all night: it’s just his Idol schtick. And now it’s Tina Fey and Julia-Louis Dreyfus to present Supporting Actress in a Comedy.

8:22pm: They were both on Saturday Night Live. They both have kids and Emmys, and they also will hide their hatred well.

8:23pm: Supporting Actress in a Comedy. Nominees are Conchata Ferrell (Two and a Half Men), Jenna Fischer (The Office), Elizabeth Perkins (Weeds), Jaime Pressley (My Name is Earl), Holland Taylor (Two and a Half Men), Vanessa Williams (Ugly Betty).

And the winner is…

Jaime Pressley!

Wow, this is a very shocking win here: much like O’Quinn, she was considered a better option last year (O’Quinn, of course, two years ago). This is really surprising, especially considering that Fischer was supposed to be the “young, not on Two and a Half Men” choice. She thanks the cast and crew, and her fiance and her little boy. It’s all very emotional.

8:24pm: Kyle Chandler of Friday Night Lights (Woo!) and Katherine Heigl give a short speech, as Heigl barely has time to correct Voiceover lady. We’ve now got Supporting Actor in a Miniseries/TV Movie. Ed Asner, Thomas Hayden Church, Joe Mantegna (Fat Tony), August Schellennberg, Aidan Quinn. And the winner is…Thomas Hayden Church, making up for the Oscar he didn’t win for Sideways I guess. And his pants don’t fit, and there was something about peeing. Weird.

8:28pm: Seriously music people, he was on the verge of tears and you tried to play him out. That is harsh. Ellen and Eva, along with the cast of Entourage, are up next with the Supporting Actress awards!

8:32pm: I don’t know what commercials American viewers are getting, but CTV (Canada) is pimping Gossip girl big time.

8:33pm: And we’re back with Ellen discussing the removal of some sort of growth with Hugh Laurie as we return. She is here to introduce something, which she isn’t actually aware of. She links her ignorance to Caller ID, and then spots a prompter. And then totally disses montages. This one: Topical one-liners from Leno, Kimmel, Ferguson, Conan O’Brien, Colbert, Stewart, Letterman, Maher, etc. The problem with this segment is that the comedy isn’t the funniest jokes, but the “hippest jokes” about George Bush and Al Gore. There was a couple of nice jokes, and a great tribute to Tom…whose last name I don’t know. It was nice.

8:37pm: Eva Longoria presents with the boys of Entourage, and even Turtle gets a line. That was nice, and there’s a nice sex joke that Piven deadpans out of.

8:38pm: Supporting Actress in a Drama – Lorraine Bracco (The Sopranos), Rachel Griffiths (Brothers & Sisters), Katherine Heigl (Grey’s Anatomy), Sandra Oh (Grey’s Anatomy), Aida Turturro (The Sopranos), Chandra Wilson (Grey’s Anatomy).

And the winner is…

Katherine Heigl!

Add another to the pile of winners who probably deserved it last year (or year’s previous) instead: she was great in the 2nd season, but was sidled with the frustrating and annoying George/Izzie pairing. Her own mother said she didn’t have a shot at winning, so she’s unprepared. And then we get a great cut to her mother.

8:40pm: She should really have thanked Judd Apatow (Or more specifically Anne Hathaway, who backed out of Knocked Up) for this.

8:41pm: And now we have Jennifer Love Hewitt and Jon Cryer (Both from CBS shows), who drop a The View joke and some cross-network talk. Now it’s time for Variety/Comedy Series Writing. Which means videos!

The Colbert Report: People attacking Stephen Colbert

The Daily Show: Alberto Gonzales not recalling any of the writers in his testimony.

Late Night with Conan O’Brien: Illegal Mexican Aliens being driven in a truck by Conan.

Late Show with David Letterman: Favourite Geroge W. Bush moments (Dropping a dog, etc.)

Real Time with Bill Maher: Under the stall bathroom madness.

And the winner is…

Late Night with Conan O’Brien!

Wow! This is fantastic, and absolutely shocking. Conan has NEVER WON AN EMMY. There was seriously no reaction amongst the crowd, and we get our first Katherine Heigl’s mother joke of the night. Still, poor Colbert.

8:46pm: As of now, only Jeremy Piven is a repeat winner, the rest have been people who have never won an Emmy before. Will this extend into future categories? Something tells me that it might not. Still, I can dream.

8:50pm: We return to Ryan Seacrest noted that there is no “set” of sorts, and makes a fantastic “Kid Nation” joke. Honestly, whoever wrote that deserves some credit. And now, performing a song from Tony Bennett’s special, it is Christina Aguilera and Tony Bennett.

8:51pm: The fact that he is performing does not bode well for the chances of Stephen Colbert in the Individual Performance in a Variety/Music/Comedy series. It also doesn’t help that he had virile young pop singers and fancy dancers on his special to hide his age. He really isn’t doing much here. Really, if he wins, he owes all of his fellow performers some form of award. I’m sure he has some Grammys sitting around that he isn’t using. Aguilera is clearly pregnant from the side, but you can’t even tell on a frontal view. It’s impressive.

8:53pm: Fittingly, Alec Baldwin (Who performs as Tony Bennett on SNL) is presenting Direction for a Variety/Comedy series. Which, of course, goes to the director of Tony Bennett: An American Classic. I smell a theme, but really: is it fair to have large-scale music specials compared to, you know, a comedy show? Is that any competition, honestly?

8:55pm: And now, here comes Ali Larter and Kiefer Sutherland. Come on, Emmys, where’s my Kristen Bell? She has a lame concept of heroes, and it’s Lead Actor in a Miniseries or Movie. Jim Broadbent. Robert Duvall. William H. Macy. Matthew Perry. Tom Selleck.

And the winner is…Robert Duvall for Broken Trail. This is his first Emmy? Really? For Robert Duvall? Hmm, I can’t complain about that, really.

8:57pm: Duvall welcomes back the Western to cultural consciousness, and we cut to Seacrest in the crowd. We get a bloggers joke, and a High School Musical nudity joke. Seriously: way to be relevant. No, really. That’s kind of recent, if a bit tabloid-esque. Coming up: Queen Latifah and Roots, Steve Carell, and the cast of Jersey Boys.

9:01pm: We enter hour two of the telecast with Queen Latifah, nominated tonight for a TV movie. Roots is a revolution that was televised, and changed a lot of things: broadcast on ABC for eight nights, got huge ratings, and showed boobs. It still remains the 3rd most watched show behind M*A*S*H and Who Shot J.R., and the racial lines it crossed remain crossed to this day. And when we get the cast of roots, including Levar Burton and Ed Asner (The two I know by name). And thus begins the search in the crowd for black people: they only found Pickens Jr. from Grey’s Anatomy, but they finally got to Shonda Rhimes.

9:06pm: The cast of Roots present the award for Best Miniseries. The nominees: Broken Trail, Prime Suspect and The Starter Wife.

And the winner is…Broken Trail. Which is kind of unsurprising considering they just won two acting trophies, don’t you think? And now Duvall gets a second speech, which is nice. And is then played off again.

9:09pm: And now we’re listening to the theme song from How I Met Your Mother, so it’s Neil Patrick Harris! Woo! Oh, and Hayden Pannetiere. And then Neil Patrick Harris makes a joke about Hayden being “legal”, which is really weird since he, you know, came out, and was just given a stereotypical heretosexual male jock joke. And now they get the role of presenting the presenters with the Guest Actor/Guest Actress in a Drama series awards. The winners were: John Goodman (Studio 60) and Leslie Caron (Law & Order: SVU).

9:10pm: Caron was a bit of an upset over some high profile and great actresses, but she’s the only one present tonight. It has been her good fortune to work with some great directors, so she’s here to present the nominees for Direction in a Drama Series. Nominees are Battlestar Galactica, Boston Legal, Friday Night Lights, Heroes, Lost, The Sopranos, Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

And the winner is…Alan Taylor for The Sopranos “Kennedy and Heidi”. Which is disappointing, really, considering that this was a great opportunity to honour either Lost’s great finale or Friday Night Lights’ fantastic series. And then Battlestar Galactica.

9:13pm: Oh, they get to present after all. Oustanding Writing for a Drama Series: Battlestar Galactica, Lost, The Sopranos, The Sopranos and…The Sopranos.

And the winner is…David Chase for “Made in America.” Oh, yeah, it’s The Sopranos. I thought that was kind of a given. Yes, that’s the finale everybody. The blank screen won an Emmy. Deal with it.

9:18pm: Note that despite a milk/computer related mishap just a month ago, I am risking it again to bring you the latest. If something goes wrong, it was worth it.

9:19pm: Thanks to Frank below, I’ve noticed that I mixed up Emmy and Oscar. I blame Helen Mirren.

9:20pm: Steve Carell is in the house to present. He deadpans an introduction, and then goes into a spiel of sorts: he is not just a presenter, or a famous personality, but as part of a show called The Office. He was the only cast member invited to present, and he has words from the rest of his cast. Rainn Wilson will only say nice things if he’s dying, John Krasinski notes that he films a lot of movies, Jenna Fischer got told for her rack, and then people didn’t realize it was over. And then there was transmission issues.

9:22pm: Variety/Comedy Series! Colbert! Stewart! Conan! Letterman! Maher!

And the winner is…The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. AGAIN. Honestly, people, are they not even watching The Colbert Report. I like the Daily Show, but he’s coasting: Colbert is changing the face of Variety/Comedy series, and he just keeps getting ignored. He notes how annoying it is for those who are seated in the round (Seriously, they get to see asses).

9:24pm: Variety/Comedy Special! Shatner Roast! Kennedy Center! Lewis Black! Tony Bennett! James Taylor! Wanda Sykes!

And the winner is…duh. It’s Tony Bennett: An American Classic. I don’t even need to listen to the speech, here, he’s waltzing away with everything. His son gives a nice speech, and then people smash in some friendly words. And OH SNAP. The musicians just STOPPED playing off Tony Bennett. Special treatment? He’s so winning performance.

9:27pm: Ryan Seacrest introduces our accountants, and now it’s Mark Harmon and Marcia Cross. An odd pairing, really. They’re presenting an always important Emmy: Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie. Toni Colette, Judy David, Samantha Morton, Anna Paquin, Greta Scacchi.

And the winner is…Judy Davis for The Starter Wife. She didn’t decide to show up, and Marcia Cross is sure she will be thrilled. And then she pulls Mark Harmon off the stage. Is he drunk or something?

9:29pm: Chairman of the Academy time. I’ll take this moment to address the below: it seemed odd to write a joke for Neil Patrick Harris that was entirely a heterosexual male “She’s legal, baby!” joke. Not that it was inappropriate, or that he was a pedophile, but it seemed kind of an odd choice and not reflective of his recently revealed sexuality. I meant nothing more.

9:34pm: Liveblogging Lesson #1 – The people who are only reading can’t see what I can, so my commentary needs to be descriptive if I plan on referencing more sensitive subjects. Apologies for the confusion, everyone.

9:35pm: And now it’s Cable leads time with Kyra Sedgwick, Glenn Close and Mary-Louise Parker, as Close notes the connection between female leads and Cable television. And then realize that two are litigators, and the other is a drug dealer.

9:36pm: Oustanding Made for TV Movie – Bury my Heart, Ron Clark, Lipstick, they went too fast…

And the winner is…Bury My Heart At Wounded Knee. Go Alberta!

9:38pm: Seriously, really? Is this on CBS? Joe Mantegna (fittingly, since he is Fat Tony after all), introduces The Sopranos/Jersey Boys tribute.

9:40pm: Great moment – when the cast of Jersey Boys, clearly lip synching, turn to the stars seated in the Round, the Stars literally applauded they were so happy to finally have someone perform to them.

9:41pm: I am totally missing the connection to The Sopranos outside of the clips playing…did they just really want to have a Musical Theatre element to the proceedings? Oddly, he now appears to not be lip synching, I guess because this song is in a lower key.

9:43pm: Wow, that just kept going. It wasn’t terrible, but it was just…really irrelevant. And I would argue that that is a worse crime on a three-hour awards show. Now, however, we get the cast of The Sopranos. So what the Emmys is saying is that Roots and the Sopranos are at similar levels of cultural significance. That’s…quite a message, Emmys. It is literally the entire cast, as the family of four step from a trap door surrounded by every other cast member. And Tim Daly, for some reason. Does he really count? And then they take their bows.

9:48pm: These commercial breaks are way too long, especially when CTV is pushing the same shows all the time (And no Pushing Daisies! Uncool.)

9:49pm: An attraction pair are Patrick Dempsey and Sally Field presenting Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie. Queen Latifah. Debra Messing. Helen Mirren. Mary-Louise Parker. Gena Rowlands.

And the winner is…Helen Mirren. Of course. Everyone knew this. It’s not even partially shocking. It’s her fourth, and second in a row.

9:51pm: Belle, glad you’re enjoying it! You asked what the winner (Alan Taylor from The Sopranos) said in a foreign language…I THINK it was something to embarass his daughter, but I can’t confirm this. Let’s hope someone in the press corps clarifies it for tomorrow.

9:52pm: Lewis Black is out and yelling at people. Which is kind of fantastic. He wants people to tell stories, not show commercials. It’s actually a pretty lame rant for Lewis Black, but he says some very relevant things.

9:54pm: And now he’s ranting about bullet points and the news. He’s far less interesting when he isn’t swearing, it’s clear it’s 90% of his act. He does wish us Merry Christmas, and we get some meta commentary on his commentary. That was an odd choice of segment.

9:55pm: Ryan Seacrest calls Cold Case’s Kathryn Morris and…the young guy from Cold Case “kinda hot” which is “kinda insulting” to say as a surprising fact. And now it’s time for Directing for a Miniseries, Movie or Dramatic Special. Broken Trail. Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee. Jane Eyre. Prime Suspect. Tsunami: The Aftermath.

And the winner is…the director of Prime Suspect. Which is surprising, since it lost Best Miniseries. And he is very brief, and it is very well said.

9:57pm: And now to Writing for a Miniseries, Movie or Dramatic Special. Broken Trail. Bury My Heart. Jane Eyre. Prime Suspect. (It’s like Deja Vu!). The Starter Wife (Oh, there we go).

And the winner is…the writer of Prime Suspect. So best director, best script, best actress…but not Best Miniseries. Harsh. I guess Emmy just wanted to award Robert Duvall. Man, these Brits sure know how to give a short speech.

10:03pm: Yes, we’re still in commercials: FOX must really be pimping out K-Ville, I presume. We return to Ryan Seacrest chatting with a guy from The Sopranos, and then introducing our super genius Masi Oka (Who also does special effects work). He’s sitting with a Macbook Pro, discussing Broadband internet initiatives. There was an Emmy Honouree in Interactive Television, and we welcome the president of MySpace…it’s TOM! We’re here for liveblogging: it goes to CurrentTV, founded by Al Gore (He DID invent the internet!)

10:05pm: It’s Al Gore! Current is a playlist of short videos, or pods, that anyone can make and distribute. It’s weird, and now Al Gore has an Emmy. And now people are standing. Somehow, I don’t think it’s for the largely unknown Internet TV initiative.

10:06pm: Tipper! At least, I think that’s Tipper. They’re trying to open up television, joining the conversation of American democracy. Again, why isn’t he running for President if he’s even developing a TV website about democracy.

10:07pm: Brad Garrett and Joely Fisher finally lead to some FOX pimpage – and a very inappropriate Western joke. And then a more appropriate and funny set of boob jokes. And then more Charlie Sheen attacks. Poor Charlie Sheen, and then a Senator Craig joke. That one was much more scripted.

10:09pm: Individual performance in a Variety Series: Bennett. Colbert. Ellen. Letterman. Stewart. This one is pretty easy to call.

And the winner is…Tony Bennett. Of course. Stephen Colbert has now lost two years in a row entirely due to society’s fascination with musical nostalgia in the form of old people singing old songs. I don’t know how much more backwards you can get, even if Tony Bennett is a classy individual.

10:11pm: Teri Hatcher and Anthony Anderson (There’s the K-Ville plug), and now it’s time for Guest Actor/Actress in a Comedy. The winners were: Stanley Tucci for Monk and Elaine Stritch for 30 Rock. Both really good performances. And here they are to present our next award.

10:12pm: Elaine Stritch is just as crazy as ever, and finally turns to the back as well.

10:13pm: Stritch is as delightful as ever, not knowing what she’s doing and all. She’s playing dumb, and it’s kind of awesome. If, perhaps, a bit above the heads of some viewers, perhaps.

10:14pm: Directing in a Comedy Series. Entourage. Extras. The Office. Scrubs. 30 Rock. Ugly Betty.

And the winner is…Richard Shepherd (Ugly Betty). This is a very unsurprising win, simply because it has the benefit of being both visually arresting and broadly themed. He gives a speech about being banned from television, so he clearly watched that Oscar video of Tom Hanks about not just thanking people.

10:15pm: Writing in a Comedy Series. Extras (Daniel Radcliffe). The Office (Gay Witch Hunt). The Office (The Negotiation). 30 Rock (Jack-tor). 30 Rock (Tracy Does Conan).

And the winner is…Greg Daniels for Gay Witch Hunt. Which bodes well for its chances in comedy series, as this was supposed to be 30 Rock’s category. And really, those two 30 Rock scripts are far better than the Office ones. Even the clips killed.

10:19pm: Up next is Colbert/Stewart and Reality/Competition Program! We’re heading into the home stretch, folks!

10:23pm: If I see another Gossip Girl or Big Shots ad on CTV without any for Pushing Daisies I will scream. And now Seacrest is back wearing Jonathan Rhys-Meyer’s outfit from The Tudors. And then makes a self-referential gay joke, although no one really got it.

10:24pm: Wayne Brady is out, and we get some more FOX promotion. He’s presenting Reality/Competition Program, and calls seacrest a Medieval Pimp. Wayne Brady wants to have a competition of sorts to win nothing. And the randomly selected people are…Rainn Wilson from The Office. And…the other contestant. Randomly selected is…KANYE WEST.

10:25pm: Yes, it’s Kanye. As if he needed any more help to defeat 50 Cent. The competition: the songs of Kanye West. Rainn Wilson is so gonna rock this.

10:26pm: Whoever loses the competition will retire from show business, and Kanye doesn’t want there to be another one. Kanye gets to go first, with “Stronger.” Kanye isn’t too into it, and isn’t running around. It’s really weird to see him singing without a microphone. Brady says Kanye is wrong: it’s “Ya” not “You”. “You picked a bad time to speak properly.”

10:27pm: He’s talking the lyrics, in an eloquent tone, but gets the lyrics correct. And now he’s rockin’ out Stronger. And this gag was definitely, definitely worth our time. And now Rainn Wilson and Kanye stand together, in humour and honesty.

10:28pm: Kanye moans about never winning, a great little injoke, so let’s see Reality/Competition Program. The Amazing Race. American Idol. Dancing with the Stars. Project Runway. Top Chef.

And the winner is…The Amazing Race. FIVEPEAT! Take THAT, American Idol. Honestly, people, this is getting embarassing: I love the show, but something else has GOT to win this eventually. Honestly.

10:30pm: The Kanye/Wilson segment was great, if perhaps a little underproduced (Better graphics might have been nice, but it was probably a late minute addition). And seriously, people: who actually bets against The Amazing Race at this point? The Emmy people love it.

10:35pm: Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart are back, we’ll see if Stephen is any happier this year. Well…he does have a leaf blower. Which, interesting. And he is actually, definitely using it. There are no leaves, he says: this defeats the purpose of the Green Emmys, Stewart says.

10:36pm: It runs on alternative fuel, this leaf blower – it runs on Al Gore’s tears, which are highly flammable. He’s a crybaby, you see. Colbert reveals that Stewart rode his Private Jet sandwich to L.A., and then Stewart believes that award shows are wasteful. And then Colbert admonishes him further. “If celebrities stop self-congratulating each other, the Earth wins.” Carbon offsets are thrown in, and it’s all kind of all over the place.

10:38pm: Lead Actor in a Comedy. Alec Baldwin. Steve Carell. Ricky Gervais. Tony Shahloub. Charlie Sheen.

And the winner is…Ricky Gervais.

Oh, wow. This is kind of stunning. In every possible way. I am in absolute shock. And then to save us from this awkward moement, Steve Carell accepts the award on his behalf and the three share a fantastic moment of excitement. Wow…that’s a stunning upset of THREE front-runners (Carell, Baldwin, Shahloub)

10:40pm: Lead Actress in a Drama. Arquette. Driver. Falco. Field. Hargitay. Sedgwick.

And the winner is…Sally Field! Oh wow, Edie Falco just got completely and totally destroyed. Sally Field is kind of shocked, and loves her big ol’ family. This is entirely shocking, if not surprising, and wow: these two awards have blown the roof off of most predictions…my own included, of course. Very fitting speech about mothers, and war, and everything else. Just a very nice speech, until she entirely flubs her conclusion. She just can’t catch a break, poor girl.

10:43pm: Not to disrespect the In Memoriam people, but for a second: those two awards show that the “favourites” are not safe in this instance. Thus far, I’d say that only Jeremy Piven was a predictable pick, although Field comes close – Gervais’ win is perhaps the most shocking in a very long while, and it is clear that Baldwin/Carell must have split the “NBC Comedy” vote. Which is a pity, because they both deserved it.

10:46pm: We head to commercial with just four more awards to go: Best Actor in a Drama (Will Gandolfini, like Falco, fall?), Best Actress in a Comedy (Ferrera? Who knows, now. It could be Mary-Louise Parker, at this rate), Outstanding Comedy Series (Ugly Betty? The Office?) and Outstanding Drama Series (The Sopranos won writing/directing, but lost three of four acting prizes. Is it still the front-runner?). This is getting interesting.

10:51pm: William Shatner and Debra Messing are here to mess about singing Stepping Out, and then there was something about a love child. And now it’s Leading Actress in a Comedy. Ferrera. Fey. Huffman. Louis-Dreyfus. Parker.

And the winner is…America Ferrera.

And phew, I was just starting to think that the Emmys were unpredictable. This is something kind of hard to argue with: she is fantastic on the show, and even if I would argue that Mary-Louise Parker does more subtle work I think it is certainly deserved. And finally, we return to the good ol’ predictable and safe Emmys. Oddly, for all my bitterness, I kind of missed it; my heart can’t take surprises, apparently.

10:54pm: Jimmy Smits and Kate Walsh are here to present Lead Actor in a Drama Series. Gandolfini. Laurie. Leary. Spader. Sutherland.

And the winner is…James Spader. The hell?

Okay, sorry, this is just embarassing. Honestly, Emmys, you couldn’t have even gone for Laurie? Or anyone? This is by far one of the worst decisions in history: he feels he stole a pile of money from the mob, and he’s pretty much right. He notes how terrible these seats are, and the stars agree. David E. Kelley? Laughing all the way to the bank.

10:56pm: This is embarrassing, almost. Did all of the voters just decide they were giving Sopranos drama series and throw their votes away in the acting categories? And to SPADER of all people? Just bizarre.

11:01pm: So apparently, Sally Field’s speech was edited on FOX in the U.S. When she said “If the world were run by mothers, we wouldn’t have any god damn war”, and this was bleeped by FOX. Was it for god or for war? We’ll have to see.

11:02pm: Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton are here to present the nominees for Oustanding Comedy Series. Entourage. The Office. 30 Rock. Two and a Half Men. Ugly Betty.

And the winner is…30 Rock! YES!

And ladies and gentleman, the Arrested Development rule strikes again. Even if it loses most everything else, the hyped critical pick might just win out in the end anyways. And in this case, DAMN SKIPPY Emmys. I am so very, very happy. So pleased. Woo!

11:03pm: Fey thanks the dozens and dozens of viewers (Heh), as we cut to commercial so they can clear the stage. And wow, that totally saved the night after the tragedy in Actor in a Drama. Thanks, Emmy voters, for restarting my cynical heart.

11:07pm: Helen Mirren, the winningest woman in show business, to present the award for Outstanding Drama Series. Boston Legal. Grey’s Anatomy. Heroes. House. The Sopranos.

And the winner is…The Sopranos. Well, there’s a relief: I think Tony would have popped someone if they hadn’t won this one.

11:13pm: Well that about wraps it up! Thanks everyone for reading, and stay tuned in the morning for the full rundown. For now, I need some rest, my fingers are killing me.

21 Comments

Filed under Award Shows, Emmy Awards, Entertainment, Entourage, FOX, Lost, My Name is Earl, Television, The Amazing Race, The Office, The Simpsons, The Sopranos

21 responses to “Liveblogging the 2007 Primetime Emmy Awards

  1. Frank

    Thomas Haden Church was not nominated for an Emmy for Sideways — nor was he eligible, as that was a theatrical film.

  2. Wayne

    And of course he was nominated for an Oscar.

  3. Wayne

    And you didn’t say he was nominated for an Emmy anyway.

  4. Wayne

    So, you’re assuming Harris is a pedophile, because he’s gay?

  5. Jordan

    “Neil Patrick Harris makes a joke about pedophilia, which is really weird since he, you know, came out.”

    Please better articulate what the fuck you are saying with this comment before you turn people who read this blog even stupider. 95 percent of known pedophiles are heterosexual. What does his coming out have to do with anything?

  6. I clarified above, but to do so here as well: what I meant was that Neil Patrick Harris was given a joke that defines every heterosexual male “Woo, she’s legal now!”, which seems odd considering he came out earlier this year.

    I had never intended, and would NEVER intend, to make any connection between pedophilia and homsexuality.

  7. Belle Epoch

    Hey, I just wanted to thank you for doing this. I am kinda watching but your blog makes sense out of the confusion. Some guy got an award and said something unintelligible, and then said, “There! I said it on prime time TV!” But what the heck did he say?

  8. It was something in a foreign language, and it was for his daughter (I clarified above, but that could easily get lost). I don’t know what language (Maybe German?), but it seemed like it was some form of embarrassment for his daughter.

    It was Alan Taylor from The Sopranos, a director…we’ll see if we get clarification tomorrow!

  9. Belle Epoch

    Thanks for your response. I guess they are giving awards to Tony Bennett while they still can. I was afraid he was blanking out in the middle of his acceptance speech. P.S. Regarding Neil Patrick Harris, tasteless sexploitation “joke” created hate all around.

  10. Yeah, Belle, it was really something that caught me off guard. Ignoring that it was coming from Neil Patrick Harris, it was still fairly inappropriate…but from him, it was also an affront to his sexuality on the part of the writers. Which just makes it that much more frustrating to see.

  11. B.C.

    What did Sally Field say during her speech that was bleeped out on tv? It started “If mothers ruled the world we wouldn’t have that g.. d… somethin’ somethin'”

    Thanks.

  12. Sally Field spoke regarding the “god damn war.” If she was seriously bleeped out, FOX has some explainin’ to do.

  13. Belle Epoch

    Don’t you think Sally Field was saying, “If mothers ruled the world, we wouldn’t have this $%#& WAR!” Too bad they don’t censor the stupid sex jokes, instead of anti-war remarks.

  14. Pingback: Emmys 2007: What Sally Field Said to Get Bleeped by FOX « Cultural Learnings

  15. Goldie

    I totally agree that she shouldn’t have been sensored. The sopranos guy even joked about it in the end…”If gansters ruled the world..” Not cool FOX.

  16. Regarding the censoring of Sally Field on Fox in the USA, I think all we need to know is two words:

    Neo-Conservatives

    Fox

    😛

  17. B.C.

    She was sensored starting with that and the next shot was of her speech being over and she was walking off the stage. It wasn’t just bleeping words, she was cut completely off.

  18. Yes, this is indeed the case, B.C. She didn’t do anything obscene or anything, it was purely for language purposes. Apparently, the same happened with Ray Romano earlier in the show.

  19. I just wanted to say that as a Portuguese I was very sad to see how my country Portugal was commented on your program. Portugal is the oldest country as a nation(since 1143), of the whole world. We defenetily dont’fell as spanish as you don´t feel as mexicans, I belive. That was said and mentioned in the episode all the time. I like so much your program, that put me sad indeed.
    We are a very rich country speaking about culture and history.Please do study a little more about the subject.
    Thank you.

  20. I just wanted to say that as a Portuguese I was very sad to see how my country Portugal was commented on your program. Portugal is the oldest country as a nation(since 1143), of the whole world. We definitively dont’fell as spanish as you don´t feel as mexicans, I belive. That was said and mentioned in the episode all the time. I like so much your program, that put me sad indeed.
    We are a very rich country speaking about culture and history.Please do study a little more about the subject.
    Thank you.

    Program: “The new adventures of old Christina”

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