March 28, 2007 · 9:41 pm

Lost – ‘Exposé’

Paulo & Nikki:

A ‘Lost’ Morality Play

“Morality plays are a type of theatrical allegory in which the protagonist is met by personifications of various moral attributes who try to prompt him to choose a Godly life over one of evil.” [Wikipedia]

There is no question that Nikki and Paulo’s introduction to the series was a moment where many felt that Lost had crossed a line. The idea of just randomly placing two castaways into the show’s mythology was sketchy at best, and it wasn’t met with any less resistance when they proved entirely worthless in every way for the first dozen episodes this season. We were told that this episode would be the one to justify their existence; it is my humble opinion that it did not do so, but yet it was an absolutely fascinating hour of television.

Honestly, it was kind of fun to go back into the past of the island and make some sense of quite a few things. Often times Lost has been too quick to forget its own history, and this episode brought back a lot of those memories. As an example, Sun’s capture at the hands of Sawyer and Charlie designed to ensure Sawyer regained political power was pretty well forgotten; now, it returned to the forefront of the discussion. The beach castaways have long been rather forgotten in many ways, and yet here they finally got a chance to return to some of their drama from last season.

And yet, in the end, it was all a morality play. The ‘deaths’ of Nikki and Paulo were a reminder to the people about the wrongs which had been done, about the problems which had been left untouched. And, really, it’s quite the message to send, and the fact that they buried them alive only further shows that these people are not purely moral citizens.

And, the episode was a fantastic piece of writing and directing. The entire episode was filled with inside jokes, editing Nikki and Paulo into the show’s mythology rather seamlessly all things considered. It made the moment earlier this season when Paulo came out of the bathroom in the Pearl station sensical, and the return of some island favourites (Ethan (Ian Mapother), Shannon (Maggie Grace), Boone (Ian Somerhalder), Arzt) was neat on all sorts of levels.

And yet, even not form a nostalgic sense, the episode resulted in a fantastic twilight zone ending complete with the burial of perfectly alive Nikki and Paulo. The slow reveal of the spiders, itself foreshadowed previously in the episode, was a fantastic device, and it resulted in a ‘Holy Shit’ moment which the show hasn’t achieved in a long time. It was different than anything else we’ve seen on Lost, which I think was good. As The Elder was discussing earlier in terms of BE Something’s criticism of Lost, people are sometimes left out of the speculative loop with the show’s big storylines. Here, however, we were welcomed into the story, sucked into the plot as it weaved its way from present day to the past. It was, if anything, a mystery story where we were offered the chance to step into Hurley’s shoes and try to find the true ‘killers.’

But yet, as I say all of these good things about the episodes…was that it? Were these two actors brought in simply for this one episode with little to no connection to the main storyline? The episode was very standalone, very indulgent, and didn’t really justify their salaries for their earlier episodes. Have we seen the last of Paulo and Nikki? If so, were they really worth it just for this hour of television? It’s an interesting question, and I look forward to the weekly podcast to find out the answer.

If you want to know what happened in the episode, continue on. Note that highlighted sections take place in the past, while non-highlights are in the present.

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March 28, 2007 · 12:01 pm

Sci-Futility Challenge: Can Heroes ‘BE Something’ other than Lost?

As some of you may be aware, I’ve been a tiny bit sketpical as to whether shows like Jericho or Heroes can seriously avoid the pitfalls which Lost has found itself dealing with in its second and third seasons. That post didn’t get a huge amount of attention (Although the Elder certainly took it to heart), but it did apparently have one reader who chose to analyze the situation from a different perspective. Matt over at BE Something, you see, has decided that there are six ways in which ‘Heroes’ can avoid becoming Lost and follow the fancy blue line instead of the red. It’s an interesting article, I think, although one that is clearly in direct opposition to my original thesis.

I was going to comment on the article over at BE Something, but I decided to do it here; it’s going to end up being quite extremely long, so I figure I might as well formalize things (Although, admitttedly, these are still relatively unorganized thoughts, I have a head cold). So, as a result, it’s time for the first ever Sci-Futility Challenge. Do Matt’s points hold up? Can they convince me that Heroes is, in fact, not on the same trajectory? Let’s find out.

Argument #1

Stick to the Core Group of Characters

So far, Heroes too has featured a large and rotating cast, with some characters not appearing for episodes at a time. However, they’ve managed to foster good will among their audience for (most of) these characters — some of us still hate Niki. As these characters find themselves continuously entangled with other characters and their back stories get fleshed out and their motivations explained, it’s easy to understand why a writer would rather simply introduce a new character rather than dwell on an ‘old’ one. But just because it’s easy to understand doesn’t make it good writing.

In debating, we like to avoid making purely logistical arguments, but I’m going to start with one of these. Because, in the end, there is absolutely no way that Heroes will be able to avoid falling into this trap for a variety of different reasons.

The creators of the show will want to have fun with new types of superheroes with new types of powers; the creators will run out of things to do with certain people’s powers; contract renegotiations for a cast this large will mean cutting some dead weight at some point, etc.

I think it’s idealistic to assume that the creators of the show will manage to overcome these logistical concerns, as they’re traps which are far too easy to fall into. However, really, Lost didn’t have this problem, outside of contract issues (Maggie Grace); they could have easily managed to continue with just these characters should they have pleased to do so. However, as I feel Matt ignores, characters are often introduced in order to bring new storylines into play.

For Lost, the Tailies may have added to the cast but they also brought tension and diverse experiences into the camp. Things were getting far too complacent for the castaways, and to move the storyline forward they had to introduce new characters.

Won’t Heroes have the same problem? When they go to change storylines, can they seriously expect this group of characters designed to fit this one to magically mould themselves into perfect fits for the new one? That would require a great deal of contrivance, and could in fact compromise those storylines. Whether Lost did a good job of it or not, the problem it faced will be shared by Heroes, and either its characters or its plot will fall as a result.

Argument #2

Continue with the ‘arc’ structure

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March 27, 2007 · 9:52 am

7 Minutes of War: Idol vs. Dancing Showdown

PopWatch called it “the most important seven minutes in history,” somewhat tongue-in-cheek, at the end of last week. FOX announced that it would be airing American Idol for an extra seven minutes, from 8:00pm to 9:07pm, in order to find time for all ten performers. Of course, in this age of accountable media, they were all too quick to point out its real purpose: putting a dent into the first results show of Dancing with the Stars. FOX is promising that House will air in its entirety (With very few commercial breaks, clearly) in the following 53 minutes, and things have been abuzz since that point.

UPDATE: Well, the end of Idol was uneventful, and the beginning of Dancing with the Stars was even more boring than you could imagine. Still, in the end, who got eliminated from Dancing with the stars? Why, it was Paulina and Max who were sent home on Dancing with the Stars, but only after an hour of sheer boredom.

To be honest with you, I think we need to step back and look past the symbolic ramifications of this scheduling. Because, really, that’s all there is. While FOX is clearly posturing for media attention, let’s remember that, uh, nothing happens in the first seven minutes of a results show. For people interested in tuning in to see who gets eliminated on Dancing with the Stars, that first seven minutes will likely contain little but a recap, maybe an opening group number, perhaps some bad jokes from Tom Bergeron…nothing to really be too worried about. The conflict between these two shows will have little impact on viewing habits. I would wager that anyone who would have changed the channel at 9pm will likely do the same at 9:07 after watching Idol.

And yet, it is quite the gesture; while ABC has long frustrated TiVo users with its wonky :01 scheduling in an attempt to keep people around, nobody has gone so far as to play with a figure as large as 7 minutes while remaining below thirty outside of the wonky scheduling of Supersized comedies over at NBC. If they had really wanted to stretch out the episode, they could have pushed it to 90 minutes and bumped House back a week; this move was clearly calculated purely to get in the way of ABC’s reality success. While networks are always at odds with scheduling, and are always looking for a way to undercut the competition, this kind of takes things to a new level.

While NBC’s Supersized comedy tradition never turned into a trend for other networks, I think that this is certainly a precedent-setting move. Other networks, especially those with reality shows, will be quite interested to see the results on Wednesday morning when the ratings come in. This experiment could give further prudence to the laziness of TV viewers, unwilling to change the channel after the start of an hour, or perhaps prove further the level of apathy towards the drawn out nature of results shows. Whatever the result, one can only hope that the earth does not explode during this seven minutes; while it may not be the most important such minutes in history, it’s certainly making a usually slow March period quite interesting in the world of television.

After the jump, for those interested, is the rumoured songlist for tonight’s episode of American Idol. Want to know who’s performing what songs on ‘Songs that Inspired Gwen Stefani’ Night? Continue reading →

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March 26, 2007 · 10:02 pm

Cultural Catchup: March 21st-26th

While I may yet do some CUSID related blogging, I figure that I should at the very least acknowledge that my absence has not coincided with a stoppage of television-related news and events. Considering the fact that I’m currently recovering from some pressure-related troubles from the flight home, as well as a lack of sleep/nutrition resulting in relative illness, I’m not quite in the business of writing up individual posts of great length in regards to some of the week’s events. So, let’s do a little bit of Cultural Catchup.

Wednesday March 21st

Survivor: Fiji

While it was certainly not the show’s most eventful episode, it was at the very least a recognition that things needed to be shaken up a little bit in terms of the show’s dynamics. I think that this shuffling of the teams actually accomplished quite a lot; by shaking up some alliances, some individuals (Like Boo) became far more endearing. His performance in the challenge was a sign of leadership, something which Moto never seemed to worry about before. He showed an ability to step up, perhaps more than any other individual, without seeming like a complete asshole in the process.

Meanwhile, while the episode was redeeming for some, it did little for the men of the new Ravu tribe. And, I think this goes both ways; the manly men for their treatment of Anthony, and Anthony for being so darn self-defeatist and clueless about it. I don’t get his attitude; he’s a nerd, so he just accepts that he can’t do these things? His self esteem may have been challenged in the past, sure, but he seemed more than capable of assisting them in collecting word or starting a fire. His ostracization by the rest of his tribe was unfortunate, but I would place at least a majority of the blame on his own attitude. As much as we nerds have to stick together, I can’t justify his reaction without wondering how he could be so clueless.

Also, small note: the preview for next week is just the first of two “Person falls down and it’s funny” segments on CBS this week. And I found it far too funny, especially since I like Michelle.

Thursday March 22nd

Ugly Betty

The battle between Alexis and Daniel heated up this week, and…well, I felt like the show was reverting back to weeks past without recognizing the tangible change in these characters’ relationship. They haven’t been truly at odds for weeks, and I found it more than a little convenient to just ramp up their actions. If this storyline shall remain central, and it appears it shall, I can only hope that the contents of Daniel’s letter get out into the open. And soon.

That said, the rest of the episode brought some nice moments. Betty posing as Marc’s girlfriend was charming, and the moment with Henry was absolutely heartbreaking. The writing continued to be sharp in terms of dialogue, and it’s good to see a positive side to Marc’s character again. The show is still searching, I feel, for its drive forward to a finale, and I’m hoping that next week could help in this endeavor. Henry + Betty needs to happen, dangit. Also, as some google searches foretold, the episode featured the arrival of Max Greenberg (‘Veronica Mars’, ‘The O.C.’) as Alexis’ new assistant.

Andy Barker P.I. and Scrubs

The 2nd week for Andy Barker P.I. was a fairly good one, and I would consider it to be a success on the whole. Nicole’s transfer into Andy’s office was incredibly well-handled, and it was good to see the comedic and melodramatic detective drama/action meld together so well. The show is forming an identity, which could be bittersweet when the axe likely falls come May.

As for Scrubs, as I noted in a comment to my post regarding its possible cancellation, I think that this week’s episode was good. I was incredibly frustrated by the way Dr. Cox and Laverne had their discussions regarding faith. One of the problems I’ve had with Scrubs lately is that these moral discussions seem very forced. Dr. Cox becomes a complete jerk in these conversations in order for his episodic shift to feel more powerful. It’s rather manipulative, and forgets a lot of character development in past seasons. That said, the episode’s emotional conclusion was quite powerful, which is a feat for the show at this point.

Grey’s Anatomy

I hereby refuse to discuss this show until George and Izzie somehow go back in time and not have sex. Continue reading →

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March 22, 2007 · 11:05 pm

A Leave of Absence

While I’m questioning just how rabid my readership really is, in terms of its daily perusal of the site, but I figure I should explain my extended absence from the blogging world.

I’m headed off to the CUSID National Debating Championships at Queen’s University in Kingston, Ontario. While I will have my laptop with me, and may perhaps leave some brief messages here along with some photos, chances are I won’t be able to delve into any substantial issues.

It’s a fairly dull weekend anyways; in terms of movies, the oddly advertised ‘Reign Over Me’ battles ‘TMNT’ in terms of the most highly advertised films, but it’s actually a fairly substantial weekend. Hit the cinema to enjoy either of these options, but there’s also some rather exciting TV stuff as well.

Sunday will bring the Season Finale of Battlestar Galactica, and the buzz on the internet is tremendous. I’ve managed to stay spoiler-free up to this point, but considering the way the 1st part ended I am much looking forward to how things…move forward. With the episode order for Season Four recently upped to 22 episodes, things won’t be wrapping up quite as quickly as we thought.

So, on that note, I’m off to prepare for the flight in the morning. Hope everyone enjoys their weekend!

Myles

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March 21, 2007 · 9:26 pm

Lost – “The Man From Tallahassee”

Mystery Solved?

The Wheelchair, The Submarine and the Locke Box

Well, Lost has solved one of its most long-running mysteries with last night’s episode: “How did Locke end up in his wheelchair?” We, finally, learned that Locke lost the use of his legs when his own father tackled him out of an eight story apartment and sent him barreling to the ground. This was one of those mysteries which had always lingered; in every Locke back story, you waited to see if there were any clues, any hints, any revelations as to what happened to our favourite bald mastermind. There was little question that the episode where it was revealed would have to deliver, and in the end: it did.

This episode, more than anything else, was a masterful example of the ability of this show to develop a good character drama. The conversations between Ben and Locke were, perhaps the best the show has had since…well, since Locke and Ben sat chatting in the Hatch. There is something about Michael Emerson’s performance, and Terry O’Quinn’s characterization of Locke, that mesh together so well in terms of discussing and delving into their respective pasts. We’ve missed this side of Ben ever since he went under the knife, and it was fantastic to get manipulative and cunning Ben back to the show.

Because, in the end, this entire episode related back to Locke’s ability to be manipulated, to be used, to be taken advantage of. In a way, the island is perhaps the greatest manipulator, giving him the use of his legs and then asking for things in return which have led to Boone’s death and perhaps even Eko’s, if you want to go that far. The show is often at its best with these types of mind games, and they were in full force in this episode.

You might be realizing that I’m not really talking about Locke’s big mystery, and there’s a reason for this: it doesn’t matter anymore. What Lost has done here is take one of their biggest back story mysteries and actually make it worth a damn in the present. If you remember, when we learned that Kate had blown up her stepfather, we quite literally stopped caring. There was no impact; it didn’t change our perception of the character, it didn’t change the situation on the island, and it was pretty much useless all around.

However, even though the actual event of Locke breaking his back wasn’t over-the-top amazing (Nice quick cut to black, though), it matters in the big picture much more than any other back story we’ve seen. Not only did Locke’s injury provide some great wheelchair banter with Ben (A great parallel to his story, and to this episode), but it all went back to his ability to be manipulated and the memory of his father. It made Locke’s decision to blow up the submarine make sense, which was somewhat integral, and even more importantly it introduced us to the Locke Box.

We don’t know what it is, this box which gives you exactly what you want. However, somehow, it appears to have delivered to Ben “the man from Tallahassee.” When Locke’s father was behind that door, as I had somewhat assumed, it made this entire episode actually matter. I don’t give a crap if it solved a mystery by adding more, because that’s what the show needs to do to stay interesting. Unlike Kate, who now lacks a mystery to sustain her character in back stories, Locke is now even more confused, more complex and is a character open to more development outside of his Season 1 origins.

Fantastic dramatic tension, really good directing (The Hatch shot in the submarine mirroring the shot from the original hatch made me happy), great acting, and a heightening of mystery while providing one of the answers we were always looking for. How anyone could argue against this hour of television boggles my mind, if only for Ben’s one-liners alone.

If you missed it, or want to rekindle fond memories, continue on to check out the full recap.

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March 21, 2007 · 2:44 pm

Sci-Futility: Why ‘Heroes’ and ‘Jericho’ will end up like ‘Lost’

There’s been a lot of talk over the last few weeks about how shows like NBC’s ‘Heroes’ or CBS’ ‘Jericho’ are attempting to avoid what happened to ABC’s ‘Lost’. Once one of the most buzzworthy shows on television, it has found itself with lower ratings and a great deal of bitterness from one-time fans. In panel discussions at WonderCon and the Paley Festival, executive producers of both ‘Jericho’ and ‘Heroes’ have been attempting to ensure fans that they won’t be heading down the same road.

Jericho Executive Producer Stephen Chbosky:

“One thing we knew from the beginning is we didn’t want to frustrate the audience by not paying off mysteries, by not answering questions, because we know.”

Heroes Executive Producer Jeph Loeb:

“It was very important to us, unlike a lot of serialized shows — and I think some of that has to do with the people who came on the show from places like ‘Lost’ and ‘Alias’ — that we want our audience to know that when Tim [Kring] started out by staying this was chapter one or volume one, that is exactly what it is.”

Now, while I respect that these producers are trying to be successful and all that, I think they’re giving themselves far too much credit in this scenario. Both of them are boasting that they have been able to do what ‘Lost’ has not, that they’ve discovered the magic formula to keeping fans and viewers happy and smiling for many seasons to come.

However, in all honesty, I think these genre producers are missing the point entirely. They speak as if they’ve learned their lesson, that they’ll never do what Lost has done, that their fans have no reason to worry. However, I’d like to inform these producers that they couldn’t be more wrong. Any serial sci-fi drama like Lost, whether it is Heroes or Jericho or Invasion or Surface, is going to eventually elicit bitterness and anger amongst its audience and critics for a simple reason:

TV Viewers are fickle, fickle beings.

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March 20, 2007 · 10:13 pm

American Idol’s ‘Crying Girl’

Tonight’s episode of American Idol had its usual range of performances. Melinda finished the show off strong, Blake tried to mix things up a little (And honestly, I don’t think he has the range to sing that chorus), and most performers certainly did better than in recent weeks. However, despite it being British Invasion Night, it didn’t seem like that was the theme at all. Because, you see, the real theme was: “Aww, look at the crying girl!”

I don’t believe we got the girl’s name [Ed. – It was apparently Ashley. They didn’t mention it very often.], but Ryan felt like pointing out the amount she was crying during all performances. She’s your usual little cutie-pie, even with the stereotypical pigtails. As her favourite, Sanjaya, took the stage, she couldn’t contain her tears. While the audience struggled to find the melody, the tune or the singing, period, within the song, she seemed content to cry and ogle his…hair? I don’t know what makes him cute, he’s so strange.

After the performance, Sanjaya headed into the crowd to hug her, and she had her little moment in the spotlight. Now, to this point, the show was certainly turning to her for an emotional tug, which is something which I discussed during the audition episodes. However, they weren’t done yet! As a I sat down to write this blog post during Melinda’s performance, they cut to her again! She was balling, of course, and while I know ‘Oliver!’ is kind of sad I don’t think it’s nearly that depressive. By this point, I was convinced that they should seriously consider psychological counselling for this girl. It can’t be healthy. Continue reading →

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March 19, 2007 · 11:58 pm

Flirting With Disaster: The Top Ten ’24’ Romances

This week’s episode of 24, perhaps more than any other this season, contained a great deal of palpable romantic tension. After Chloe decides to kiss Morris in order to check his breath for alcohol, Morris said it best: “Gotta love this place.” The episode was filled with reminders of those romantic tensions: Jack’s revelation regarding Audrey’s apparent death in China, Marilyn’s attempt to get herself some Jack lovin’, Milo’s attraction to Nadia being brought into question, and, of course, Chloe’s snogging of Morris.

24, despite being quite the serious show dealing with international disasters, thrilling action scenes, and large explosions, has always had a certain romantic component to it. While it has never been arrested by these romantic endeavors, overcome by the sheer love of its characters, some of these relationships stand as memorable moments from seasons past and present. There might not be the level of shipping that is seen on other shows, since a lot of these people proceeded to be killed, but there is certainly some affairs to root for.

So, without further adieu, the Top Ten ‘24’ Romances. I’d like to acknowledge that, although not a conscious ripoff, I have to send props over to Erin and Matt over at “BE Something” for their fantastic Top 10 lists and television discussion.

10. Mandy and Everything That Moves

She blew up an airplane to open the show’s very first episode. She attempted to assassinate President Palmer with a crazy hand virus in Season Two. She withheld information from an important investigation into Marwan’s location in Season Four. Mandy has certainly had her fair share of involvement in 24’s more serious plot points.

And yet, she’ll always be the hot lesbian. She’ll always be the one who uses her sexuality to get the job done, and the one whose return illicits sweaty palms across the world. Her romance with every single character she encounters is, without a shadow of a doubt, one of the show’s most interesting, and most pervasive. With her presidential pardon in place, she’s capable of returning whenever the producers desire to have her to do so. I can’t wait to see who she seduces next.

9. Chase and Kim

I figure we had to work Kim in here somewhere; although I was much more tempted to include the Cougar or the crazed bomb shelter maniac, her relationship with Chase was one that played a fairly substantial role in Season Three’s storyline. It had a small child involved, some inter-office tension, and the whole issue of dating your father’s partner.

In a season which was all about personal relationships, this one actually managed to make a fair amount more impact than Kim’s other relationships. It never seemed to get in the way of the storyline outside of its normal dramatic intervention, which is what’s best for these type of romances.

8. Jack and Audrey

Most relevant this week, these two certainly faced quite a few difficult situations over the span of two seasons. They were always a little disconnected, but their relationship was threatened when Jack basically killed her ex-husband by forcing doctors to operate on another man instead. That’s kind of a buzzkill, when you think about it.

And yet, their love survived that and so much more. Perhaps more than any other of Jack’s post-season one romances, these two actually seemed to gain traction; this week alone, Jack was suddenly struck with a desire to speak to Audrey, even while Marilyn offered to sex him up. That shows a sense of commitment that we’ll be seeing more of for the future.

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March 19, 2007 · 3:49 pm

Dancing with the Quasi-Stars: Casting Conundrums

It’s somewhat funny to consider ABC’s ‘Dancing with the Stars’, as it exists as a rather interesting conundrum. When one looks at its cast, it becomes clear that there’s little above C-List celebrities on it. This might seem counter-intuitive to some, and yet it is entirely necessary for the show to succeed. I have to wonder what goes on behind the scenes within the selection process. They need to find the right balance of celebrities, personalities and dance ability in order to provide an interesting series for audiences…without making them too interesting. Let’s take a look at who we have in this season’s list.

The Athletes: Laila Ali (Boxer), Clyde Drexler (Basketball Player), Apolo Anton Ohno (Speed Skating).

Can the rough and tumble daughter of Muhammad Ali embrace the glamour and style of ballroom? Can Clyde Drexler overcome his height and lumbering nature to become graceful and light? Is Apolo Anton Ohno’s grace on skates (Except when he fell in 2002 and got DQ’d in 2006 (If I remember correctly)) enough to translate onto the dance floor? Athletes are always a bit of a gamble for the show, but this group seems innocent enough.

The past two seasons, Emmitt Smith (1st Place) and Jerry Rice (2nd Place) rode waves of football fan support to the finals; I don’t think the same will happen here. They appear to have learned their lesson about casting football players, as they ride their way past teams which are perhaps better dancers (Rice over Kiebler, for example).

The Singers: Billy Ray Cyrus and Joey Fatone

They are both also technically actors, but their involvement here is mostly due to their music careers. Billy Ray Cyrus started a line-dancing craze with ‘Achy Breaky Heart’, while Joey was surely skilled on the dance floor with N’Sync. However, both have been less involved in such activities over the years, and it should be interesting to see them readjust to their surroundings.

But, they had to be sure to pick the right singers here, especially with Fatone. He’s just enough of a celebrity within the group (Not quite down to…that other guy who isn’t JT, Chavez or Bass) to make it work, but not too large as to carry an insurmountable fan base.

Actors: John Ratzenburger (Everything Pixar has ever made, ‘Cheers’), Ian Ziering (Beverly Hills 90210)

There always needs to be someone who is expected to do poorly, but their jolly nature is likely to save them. In this case, it’s Ratzenburger, a last minute replacement. He is jovial, personable, and as a result will do much better than his scores will likely represent. While certain people will struggle early, they won’t be as personable as Ratzenburger.

This brings us to Ziering, one of the early favourites. He carries an entire generation of primetime soap fans, he’s athletic, and his partner is a two-time reigning champion with both Drew Lachey and Emmitt Smith. He’s a ringer, much as Lachey and others have been. It will be tough to dethrone him, and they might hesitate to cast another 90210/Melrose actor in the future should he dominate too greatly. We already saw a daytime star (Kelly Monaco) dominate, so there’s precedent for his success even years after his prime.

Personalities: Shandi Finnessey (Miss USA 2004), Leeza Gibbins (Former “ET” Anchor), Paulina Porizkova (Model)

I have no idea who Paulina is, have never heard Shandi’s name, and Leeza Gibbons is indeed a ‘former’ Entertainment Tonight Anchor. Gibbons is the usual middle-aged somewhat washed-up celebrity who people will pity somewhat, and the two model/pageant winners are the pretty ones. I seriously doubt any of them will challenge for the title; Kiebler is the only precedent for this, and she had the substantial WWE fanbase behind her.

The Story: Heather Mills (…Seal Lover)

Ah yes, the big buzzworthy selection which blows everyone away with its sheer audacity and tabloid potential. There has long been rumours of trying to get Sarah Ferguson (Dutchess of York) to participate, but this is the closest they’ve come to getting such a tabloid gold mine. And, more importantly, this one is far more relevant to today’s society.

Heather Mills’ very public divorce with Paul McCartney is ideal fodder for the show to take advantage of, and her prosthetic leg is just the icing on the cake when it comes to her appeal to viewers. Whether or not she’s going to be a good dancer is irrelevant; all that matters is that she’s a good story to force viewers to tune in and watch.

On the whole, the cast is varied and has a few contenders to go along with its stars. If we look to past seasons, Ziering certainly has the best chance of breaking out, and I’d say that an athlete performing well is not out of the question. All in all, it’s something to watch on Mondays if you’re a fan of Heroes and not of 24 for as long as the prior is on hiatus. For those like me, who likely won’t have the patience to watch an entire episode, it’s not bad background noise.

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