Category Archives: CTV

[Due to various time constraints, and the satellite running out, it was a strange night to try to fully recap Canadian Idol. So, in the spirit of embracing more traditional forms of communication, I grabbed a pen and paper and wrote down some haikus for each contestant. And thus, I present Cultural Learnings’ recap of Canadian Idol’s Top 6…in Haiku.]

Eulogy for Greg,

Pop/Rock is the Theme This Week,

The Judges are here.

Idols have Arrived,

Dwight is Wearing Ugly Coat,

Maroon 5 “Mentor”.

Tara Oram – “Walking on Sunshine” (Katrina and the Waves)

Cliched song choice much?

Vocal is as you’d expect,

Downgrade from last week.

Judges are not pleased,

Zack thought it was just awful,

Newfies will save her.

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Welcome, everyone, to what becomes fateful moment for Canadian Idol. After a theme night that divided the contestants, and after three consecutive females being kicked off the show it’s time to see whether or not a male is finally sent packing.

But first, it’s time for the filler: let’s run it down.

First, we have the Idols taking in We Will Rock You, where Brian May has some opinion changing words for the Idols. He apparently wasn’t all that big on the whole process before, but now he’s really into their singer-songwriter vibe. I have to ask: which ones apply to that? Just sayin’: I’d argue Season Two had more of that vibe, but that’s just me.

Second, we’ve got the show’s two big performances before we get to the results: well, not really. We’re only getting a taped version of their performance during the We Will Rock You show. Greg gets all excited, Carly Rae is hyped, and Matt says Oh my gosh.

Third, it’s time for the Idols to perform some of the hits of Queen. This group is NOT designed for group sings; Jaydee basically kills a song dead every time he touches it when it’s part of a group. It’s just way too awkward, and they’re much better when he basically stops singing at certain points. It happens: you can’t even hear his voice at certain points. They bring out the star of We Will Rock You for…”We Will Rock You,” which concludes the group sing. Well, they didn’t butcher anything, so that proves me wrong.

I wonder how much the box office for We Will Rock You will go up as a result of this…because honestly, they’re selling this show pretty damn hard at this point.

Finally, we get some results.

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We open the show with a ludicrously overdramatic recap that sounds like some sort of ludicrous “Previously On” segment. Honestly, it was one of the most bizarre things I’ve seen. This is quite the way to open what could be a painful evening of Canadian Idol. Because, let’s face it: NO ONE sounds as good as Freddie Mercury. Especially not these singers.

The Top 7 worked with Brian May and Roger Taylor, members of Queen of course, and the judges prattle on for a while (And Zack wants them to rock…OR ELSE).

Brian Melo – “Too Much Love Will Kill You” (…Queen)

Brian May is all excited not about their identical initials, but rather the fact that he picked a song he performed at Freddie’s Memorial concert. I consider this cheating: although a version featuring Mercury was released, Brian isn’t really trying to sing a real Queen song. While cheating, it is also ludicrously smart. As the crowd rocks out with glowsticks, Brian sounds really good until he totally biffs the chorus (in my view). It was really moving at the beginning, but I just felt that the emotion kind of petered off in the chorus. That said my mother did change the sound on the TV at about that point, so I’d say that was maybe part of it. Some great vocals in the beginning, though.

What the judges think: Jake was moved, Farley felt it was good with his brassy tones, Sass liked its smooth/rough juxtaposition, and Zack thought it was pitchy all over the place. Eh, I disagree about the beginning, but that was my issue with the chorus I think.

The Freddie Factor: N/A, since he really didn’t sing a song he made famous.

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Welcome to the Top 8 Results show…and we jump right into the Group Sing of “These are Days” by 10,000 Maniacs in all of its acoustic glory. We start with Brian (Good), Martha (Overly Theatric), Jaydee (Awful), Matt (I didn’t even see his solo), Tara (As you’d expect), Greg (Huge crowd reaction), Carly Rae (Nice), Dwight (As you’d expect). Ben returns to inform us that seven will remain, and that Enrique will be performing soon.

My prediction, to say it right now: Martha, Carly Rae and Brian in the Bottom Three. Martha or Carly Rae go home. Also possible: Matt or Jaydee taking Brian’s spot, depending on the level of post-Green Day backlash. Want to know how last night’s show went? Check out Cultural Learnings’ full recap.

So, now it’s time for Enrique Iglesias to go unplugged. Sarah mentioned last night that he does this on a regular basis, and I don’t doubt that is the case: his voice is powerful enough that he can bring intensity to a song like this. However, I still don’t think he’s the best representative of the genre in any way, shape or form. I’m also really, really distracted by the echo on his vocals, whether it’s a background vocalist or not. On the whole, a good arrangement of the song, which itself is a bit lyrically simple. Andd then Enrique started twirling, almost, it was strange. And now he wants us to follow doors. And then he kept saying “crazy,” and it was a bit weird. Still, his honesty was kind of nice.

And, as an encore of sorts, he pulls out “Be With You.” Damn, I was really holding out for “Bailamos”. However, he is now decidedly plugged in.  And now, after all of the singing and Enrique pimpage, we’re left with the results.

Results (2.8 Million Votes):

We’re doing only a Bottom Two, ouch. Jaydee must have been Bottom Three, he’s being protected

Tara, Greg, Matt, Carly Rae – Matt Rapley is in the Bottom Two. YES! Oh, I mean, too bad.

Brian, Jaydee, Dwight, Martha –Martha Joy is in the Bottom Two.

Wow, this is like the greatest bottom two ever. I think that they both failed miserably to embrace the theme, and one of them going home is for the best at this stage of the competition. I think they’re both incredibly talented singers, but performance wise they never stepped up.

And we’re back. Will it be the chanteuse or the smooth-voiced teen? The answer is…

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Tonight, the Idols go acoustic. This is going to benefit some of them (Carly Rae), and be a very different experience for some others. The real question is: how the hell is Enrique Iglesias even remotely connected to this theme? Regardless, we’ve got ourselves an intimate circle setting and Ben learned that it DOES cut like a knife, so it appears to be time to go acoustic with Canadian Idol.

[Zack gets a great line in about Mulroney’s finger: “Ben is showing us what happens when a Mulroney hitchhikes.” I must admit, can’t resist a good Mulroney joke.]

We get an introduction to Enrique that makes him out to be some sort of music god. Not so much.

Martha Joy – “True Colours” (Cyndi Lauper) 

Enrique thinks she was nervous, but that she didn’t show it. After a plug for Cyndi Lauper’s album (She did the show recently, after all), Martha starts into a raucously loud acoustic version of the song. On the one hand, she does some really nice vocal stuff in here, but none of it seems natural or emotional at all. This is Martha training how to sing a song emotionally, not actually tapping into the song at all. It sounds great, maybe, but it just doesn’t feel the least bit organic. Even when she goes acoustic, it just doesn’t sound right.

What the judges think: Jake agrees with me entirely, Farley says we need to accept her lack of emotion and focus on her solid interpretation, Sass thinks she did good in her style of that song (While making us aware it was the wrong one), Zack felt there was one really bad note but that she is the littler mermaid. I don’t know what means, but…I don’t think it was a compliment.

Acoustic Assistance: Not really. That song didn’t really need the entire string set, the guitars and the piano, so it was a really overly busy unplugged rendition that didn’t change her style much at all.

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Welcome to the Top 9 Results show of Canadian Idol, where we learn whether what was apparently “the greatest show ever”. I don’t really agree, at all, but what can you do?

We open with a recap of last night’s events…why, I have one of those too! Click here to read Cultural Learnings’ recap. Meanwhile, the show is as I remembered it: The people who really stood out were outside of my genres of music, and no one really nailed it out of the park for me. So, really, anyone can go home this week. Who’s it going to be? Let’s find out.

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Okay, CTV: you need to promote it heavily when you move the night for Canadian Idol. Because we totally forgot about it, and even with my apathy towards the season I have to keep up with these blogs. They appear to have forgotten to tell the lighting people the show was tonight, because Ben’s blinking up a storm.

Jaydee Bixby – “Runaway” (Made Famous by Elvis Presley)

He completely missed the tempo on the opening to this song, and never felt in control of the song until its conclusion. And, for an Elvis song, it didn’t really feel all that energetic either. While I know what he was going for, he needs to stop singing Rockabilly/Country at least one week. Please?

My Mother’s Opinion: “If they don’t say that sounded like karaoke…”

What the Judges Think: Jake felt he was out of tempo with the band, Farley thinks that while vocally good it wasn’t risky enough, Sass felt there wasn’t enough movement, Zack is happy about the chest hair but feels that he was grooveless off the top and revue band fare. He wants something more interesting, as do I.

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9:30pm: Welcome to tonight’s elimination, which shall be preceeded by the Top 10 Group performance. Specifically with Brian and Dwight starting off…a Nickleback song. And then Matt Rapley and Greg. Guess who sounded out of place? It was Jaydee Bixby, with Matt in a close 2nd. These people are going to be terrible at group sings, I can tell already.

9:31pm: The girls kick into…Avril Lavigne’s terrible single from ERAGON. I can’t believe this hit #1. Carly Rae gives a weak vocal, Mila gives a weak vocal, Tara gives an awful vocal. you can barely tell Khalila starts singing, and then Martha powers her way through singing Avril Lavigne as if it is the most serious song ever. Ugh.

9:32pm: 2.5 Million votes…that sounds low, is that low? I hope it’s low. Ben pimps Rihanna, who is really a perfect choice for being little but a hit machine. A good one, too. And now for a recap. You can just head back to my own recap for the lowdown.

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We’re live at the John Basset Theatre, and Ben Mulroney has suited up…and oh god, Jaydee is singing Conway Twitty. Unless someone else is singing Conway Twitty. Which sounds unlikely. Regardless, there was some rather unfortunate names thrown around in that little preview of the song list (MORE Celine? Bad, Canadian Idol). So let’s see how a rather mediocre Top 10 performs in what could be their last week in Toronto. Unless they hook up with one of the other Idols, they might stick around. Just sayin’.

Dwight D’Eon – “Unwell” (Matchbox 20)

There’s all sorts of hometown stuff, but it’s your usual Fisherman stuff…and he’s singing the same artist as last week. Except this time he’s wearing a straightjacket. I am honestly completely and totally confused right now. Oh, he was just hugging himself with his leather jacket lined up. Still, singing the same artist week after week is a terrible idea. The song doesn’t really make him into anything but a decent singer covering Matchbox 20 songs…none of that screams Canadian Idol to me. He did absolutely nothing with that song.

What the judges think: Jake agrees with me on the Matchbox 20 repetition but liked it, Farley thinks he looked better prepared, Sass would have found it more interesting if he had sang it better (I agree!), and Zack thinks he is on a good growth curve and thinks he’s a rock star…is he seriously the person with the most cred left in this competition? Le sigh.

Estimated Voting Position: With all of Nova Scotia now behind him, Dwight could reach #6.

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